Apocalypsis 04 - Haven

rhythmic motors fluttering over my fingers. Something in me started to melt.
    “They’re kittens,” he said, his smile getting bigger. “You know … baby cats?”
    “Yeah, I know what they are. I just … don’t know why they’re here in my hands. In Haven.”
    “They’re a gift from the Miccosukee. Mousers. Snake eaters. They’ll help keep you safe.”
    I didn’t know what to say. My heart spasmed a little as he just stood there and stared at me. He could have given me jewelry, and it would have been way less awesome.
    A tiny kitten paw came out and distracted me, flopping itself over the edge of my hand as the baby got more comfortable and stretched out. I shifted the furballs into one arm so I could feel the little fuzzy foot. The smooth pads on the underside with bits of fur between them were so amazing; it was the first time I’d ever felt a cat’s paw. Staring down at it, I reveled in its tiny perfection. How does nature come up with something so amazing?
    I had no idea what breed they were, but they were super tiny and fluffy. I’d never had a cat before or a pet of any kind. Not even a gerbil. I rubbed the closest kitten with my index finger and he leaned into the stroke, his eyes remaining closed but his purring increasing in speed and volume. I wasn’t sure why, but it brought tears very close to the surface.
    “Awww! Look!” said a girl standing just behind me. She was probably the youngest of our group from the looks of her. “It’s kittens! That’s so sweet. He brought you kittens.”
    I looked up at Paci again, my eyes bright with the tears I’d never let fall. “I’ve never had a kitten before.”
    He didn’t say anything for a few seconds. He seemed to be wrestling with his response. When he finally spoke it was for my ears only. “I hope they will make you happy.” His gaze shifted from me to a spot over my shoulder. I turned in time to see Bodo walking up to stand behind me.
    “Kittens. Oh, dat’s a problem.”
    I turned to him, confused. “Why are kittens a problem? They’ll help keep the mice under control, right?”
    “Yes, dat is true.”
    “So? What’s the problem?” asked Paci. He didn’t sound angry. Just very serious.
    “Some people are allergic, dat’s all.”
    I hadn’t thought of that. “Is anyone here allergic to cats?” I shouted out into the lobby.
    One hand went up. The kid it belonged to said, “Just a little. It’s no big deal.”
    Turning back to Bodo, I smiled. “See? Not a problem.”
    Bodo nodded slowly, glancing down at the kittens with a slight frown before turning to go. He didn’t say a word all the way back to the group of kids he’d been eating with - the undertaker crew. I couldn’t tell if he was angry or just jealous.
    “You like them?” Paci asked.
    I was petting the babies who’d both decided they needed attention and were crawling all over each other to get to my fingers. When one of them latched onto the tip of my pinkie finger and started sucking, my face split into a grin so huge I thought my face would break. “Yeah. I like them.”
    “Better come up with names for them,” he said, walking into the alcove to be with his tribesmen. “No one likes to be anonymous … not even cats.”
    I thought about following him into the alcove but quickly decided against it. Things were weird between us and now especially so. I didn’t know for sure that the kittens were some sort of personal gift for me from Paci, but it felt that way. And if it felt that way to me, it must seem that way to the others.
    Out of respect for Bodo, I had to tell Bodo what had happened between Paci and me while he was gone from Kahayatle, and I needed to tell him soon. I didn’t like the feeling that something was going on beneath the surface that he wasn’t aware of. It made me feel guilty and wrong.
    I resolved then to tell him everything that evening when it was time for bed, knowing I would be risking everything by doing it and also knowing I risked everything by not doing it.
    ***
    All of the able-bodied Miccosukee and Creek kids joined the undertaker group and helped dig the mass grave where we planned to put the remains of the bodies from the fridge. We worked for five hours straight, using shovels we found in a big room full of gardening tools. Apparently, the prisoners had done the landscaping at the prison, or they’d had the means to do it anyway, and I for one was grateful for that particular punishment. It meant Bodo had