Betrayed

defile us virgins," Shaunee said. Then she and Erin looked at each other and burst out laughing, which made me smile. It was weird to have a happy feeling in the middle of such sadness, which is probably why the Twins' laughter and my smile faded quickly.
    "Stevie Rae wouldn't want us to quit being happy," Damien said into the uncomfortable silence. Then he walked to the middle of the room and spread out his sleeping bag on the floor between the two beds. "And I'm here because we need to stick together. Not because I want to defile any of you, even if all of you were still virgins, although I do appreciate your use of vocabulary.”
    Erin and Shaunee snorted, but looked more amused than offended, and I made a mental note to ask them sex questions later.
    "Well, I'm glad you came, but we're gonna have one heck of a time sneaking you out of here when everyone's eating breakfast and rushing around before school," I said, trying out escape plans in my head.
    "Oh, you don't have to worry about that. The vamps are posting that the school's closed today due to snow. No one’ll be rushing anywhere. I'll just walk out with y'all whenever.”
    "Posting? You mean we'd have to wake up, get dressed, and go downstairs before we found out there wasn't any school? That sucks," I said.
    I could hear the smile in Damien's voice. "They announce it on the local radio stations like normal schools do. But do you and Stevie Rae listen to the news while you get ..." Damien trailed off, and I realized that he'd started phrasing the question as if Stevie Rae were still alive.
    "No," I said quickly, trying to cover his awkwardness. "We used to listen to country music. It always made me hurry up and get ready quicker so I could escape from it." My friends laughed softly. I waited until everyone was quiet again, and then I said, "I'm not going to forget her, and I'm not going to pretend like her death doesn't mean anything to me.”
    "Neither am I," Damien said.
    "Me either," Shaunee said.
    "Ditto, Twin," Erin said.
    After a while I said, "I didn't think it could happen to a fledgling who had been given an affinity by Nyx. I—I just didn't think it could happen.”
    "No one's guaranteed to make it through the Change, not even those gifted by the Goddess," Damien said quietly.
    "That just means we have to stick together," Erin said.
    "It's the only way we can get through this," Shaunee said.
    "That's what we'll do then—stick together," I said with finality.
    "And promise that if the worst happens, and some of the rest of us don't make it through, the others won't let them be forgotten."
    "Promise,” my three friends said solemnly.
    We all settled down then. The room didn't feel so lonely anymore, and just before I drifted off to sleep I whispered, "Thanks for not letting me be alone ...” and wasn't sure if I was thanking my friends, my Goddess, or Stevie Rae.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

    It was snowing in my dream. At first I thought that was cool. I mean, it really was beautiful … it made the world look Disney-like and perfect, as if nothing bad could happen, or if it did it was only temporary, because everyone knows Disney is all about happily ever after .. .
    I walked slowly, not feeling the cold. It seemed to be just before sunrise, but it was hard to tell with the sky all snowy and gray. I tilted my head back and looked at how the snow clung to the thick branches of the old oaks, and made the east wall look soft, and less imposing.
    The east wall.
    In my dream I hesitated when I realized where I was. Then I saw the figures, hooded and cloaked, standing in a group of four in front of the open trapdoor in the wall.
    No! I told my dreaming self. I don't want to be over here. Not so soon after Stevie Rae died. After the last two times fledglings died I saw their ghosts or spirits or undead walking bodies or whatever here. Even if I had been gifted with a weird ability to see the dead by Nyx. Enough was enough! I didn't want—
    The smallest of the cloaked figures turned around and my internal argument scattered from my mind. It was Stevie Rae! Only it wasn't. She looked too pale and thin. And there was something else about her. I stared, and my initial hesitation was overcome by a terrible need within me to understand. I mean, if it really was Stevie Rae, then I didn't need to be afraid of her. Even weirdly changed by death, she was still my best friend. Wasn't she? I couldn't help moving forward until I was standing only a few feet from the