Black Dagger Brotherhood 11 - Lover at Last

brother?” he prompted.
    “Alive.”
    Guess that was the best they could hope for right now.
    And guess that was all Qhuinn intended to say. Maybe he shouldn’t have come down here. “I, ah, I wanted to say congratulations.”
    “Thanks.”
    Okay, Qhuinn still wasn’t looking at him. Instead, the guy was focused in the direction of the office, like in his mind he’d already walked down to the damn thing and put that closet full of paper supplies to good use—
    The sound of Qhuinn cracking his knuckles was loud as gunshots. Then he flexed his hands, spreading the fingers as if they hurt.
    “So it’s historic.” Blay went to take another cigarette out of his pack, and stopped himself. “A real first.”
    “Been a lot firsts around here lately,” Qhuinn said with an edge.
    “What’s that supposed to mean?”
    “Nothing. It really isn’t relevant.”
    Christ, Blay thought, he shouldn’t have done this. “Can you look at me? I mean, would it fucking kill you to look at me?”
    Those mismatched eyes shot around. “Oh, I saw you, all right. Guess your man’s home. You gonna tell him you fucked me while he was gone? Or you gonna keep that a dirty little secret. Yeah, shhhhhhh, don’t tell my cousin.”
    Blay gritted his teeth. “You sanctimonious son of a bitch.”
    “Excuse me, I’m not the one with a boyfriend—”
    “You are actually going to stand here and pretend you were all out in the open about us? Like when Vishous came out of that room”—he jabbed his forefinger across the hall—“you didn’t jump up like your ass was on fire? You want to pretend that you were all proud that you were fucking a guy?”
    Qhuinn seemed momentarily stunned. “You think that was why? And not, oh, lemme think, trying to respect the fact that you were
cheating
on the love of your life!”
    By this point, they were both jacked forward on their hips, their voices careening up and down the corridor.
    “Oh, bull
shit
.” Blay slashed his hand through the air. “That is such total bullshit! See, this has
always
been your problem. You’ve never wanted to come out—”
    “Come out? Like I’m gay?!”
    “You fuck men! What the good goddamn do you think it means!”
    “That is
you
—
you
fuck guys. You don’t like women and females—”
    “You have
never
been able to accept who you are,” Blay bellowed, “because you’re afraid of what people think! The great iconoclast, Mr. Pierced, crippled by his fucking family! The truth is, you’re a pussy and you always have been!”
    Qhuinn’s expression was one of absolute fury, to the point that Blay was ready to get hit—and hell, he wanted to have a punch thrown at him just so he could have the pleasure of corking the guy back.
    “Let’s get this straight,” Qhuinn barked. “You keep your shit on
your
side of the aisle. And that includes my cousin and the fact that you fucked around on him.”
    Blay threw up his hands and had to pace before he jumped out of his own skin. “I just can’t stand this anymore. I can’t take this with you again. I feel like I’ve spent a lifetime dealing with your shit—”
    “If I’m gay, why are you the only male I’ve ever been with!”
    Blay stopped dead and just stared over at the guy, images of all those men in bathrooms filtering through his brain. For the love of all that was holy, he remembered each and every one of them, even though Qhuinn no doubt didn’t. Their faces. Their bodies. Their orgasms.
    All getting what he’d been desperate for, and denied.
    “How dare you,” he said. “How fucking
dare
you. Or do you think I don’t know your sexual history? I had to watch it for far longer than I cared for. Frankly, it wasn’t that interesting—and neither are you.”
    As Qhuinn blanched, Blay started to shake his head. “I’m so done. I’m
so
over this—the fact that you can’t accept yourself is going to fuck up what’s left of your life, but that’s your issue, not mine.”
    Qhuinn cursed long and low. “I never thought I’d say this…but you don’t know me.”
    “I don’t know you? I think the shoe’s on the other foot, asshole. You don’t know
yourself
.”
    At that, he expected some kind of explosion, some theatrical, over-the-top, light-up-the-world emotion to roll out of the guy.
    He didn’t get it.
    Qhuinn just set his shoulders, leveled his chin, and spoke with control. “I’ve spent the last year trying to figure out who I am, dropping the act, getting