Blue Smoke

what?”
    “You always say, it’s great, or it’s intense. Sometimes, it’s fun or it’s mediocre. If I were to use a scale, I’d say you’ve peaked at around eight.”
    Reena’s forehead furrowed. “I’ve had tens. And you’re entirely too obsessed with my sex life.”
    “What are friends for? How is this the best sex of your young, adventurous life?”
    “I didn’t say . . . Okay, it is. I don’t know. It’s great and intense and fun, and it is romantic. Even when it’s wild. And after last night, it’s over.”
    “Why? What? I just got here.”
    Reena poured more fizzy water, then just sat and watched the bubbles. “Dragging a guy to a scene—one in which you’re personally as well as professionally involved—having him see you running around in turnout gear, snapping out orders, some of them at him, with him knowing you’ve got some wack job focused on you? It takes the bloom off, Gina.”
    “Then he’s got a really tiny dick.”
    With a laugh, Reena shook her head. “He doesn’t. Figuratively or literally. We just started to dance, Gina. The tune changes this abruptly—it gets complicated.”

    With a huff, Gina sat back. “Well, if that’s his attitude, I don’t like him after all.”
    “You would like him. He’s likeable. I’m not going to blame him for stepping back.”
    “Which means he hasn’t stepped back yet.”
    “I got a sense of the back step last night. It’s just not official.”
    “You know your problem, Reena? You’re a pessimist. When it comes to men, you’re a big pessimist. That’s why—” She broke off, frowned, sipped water.
    “Don’t stop now.”
    “Okay, I won’t because I love you. It’s why your relationships don’t last, why they don’t move into any real depth. It’s been that way since college. Since poor Josh. And it got worse after Luke. He was an asshole of major proportions,” Gina added as Reena sputtered. “No question. But what happened there messed with your head, if you ask me, and it’s blocked you from making real connections.”
    “That’s not true.” But she heard her own voice, and the lack of conviction in it.
    Gina reached over, took Reena’s hand. “Hon, I’m hearing you talk about this guy the way I haven’t heard you talk about a guy since we were kids. I’m seeing serious connection potential, and you’re ready to blow it off. Hell, you’re braced to. Why don’t you wait and see how it stands up before you put an X through his name?”
    “Because it matters,” Reena said softly, and Gina’s hand squeezed hers. “Because he looks at me and it matters. I’ve never felt that before. Not once, not with anyone. It was all right that I didn’t, or couldn’t. Maybe wouldn’t. It was okay. I’ve got plenty in my life. My family, my work. If I wanted a man, there were plenty out there. But he matters, and it’s so quick, it’s so much , I don’t want to be flattened when he walks away.”
    “You’re in love with him?”
    “I’m teetering. I’m scared.”
    Gina’s smile bloomed as she pushed herself to her feet, walked around to wrap her arms around Reena’s neck. Kissed the top of her head. “Congratulations.”

    “I think I blew it last night, Gina.”
    “Stop. Wait. See. Remember what a wreck I was when things started getting serious with Steve.”
    Reena smiled. “It was cute.”
    “It was terrifying.” She straightened, absently massaging Reena’s shoulders. “I was going to go live in Rome for a year, have a mad affair with some struggling artist. How the hell was I going to do that when some damn firefighter had me all twisted up? And he still twists me up, still scares me. Sometimes I look at him and think what would I do if anything happened to him, if I lost him? What if he fell in love with somebody else? Give this one a chance.” She eased around, laid a hand on Reena’s cheek. “I haven’t even met him, and I’m telling you to give this one a chance. Now, I’m going to go pick up my kids and get back to the circus that is my life. Call me tomorrow.”
    “I will. Gina? You cheered me up.”
    “Then my work is done.”
    S he slept for three hours, and woke with her heart pounding and the dregs of a nightmare clogging her brain. Fire and smoke, terror and dark—a jumble of elements that wouldn’t coalesce. That was probably best, she thought, curling up to wait for her pulse to level.
    She had bad dreams now and then, especially if she was stressed or