Blue Smoke

handling something.”
    “I don’t know what to do.” She pressed her fist between her breasts as her heart shuddered. “I don’t know how to be. I don’t know how to deal with this.”
    “We’ll figure it out.”
    “No, no! Are you blind, are you stupid?” she demanded as she whirled around to him. “I can handle the case. You work it, you just work it. It’s a puzzle and all the pieces are there. It’s just finding them and putting them in the right place. But this? I can’t . . . I can’t handle this.” She thumped her fist between her breasts. “I’m . . . I’m . . . ”
    “Asthmatic?” he said when she just stood there wheezing.
    She stunned them both by grabbing a mug off the counter and hurling it against the wall. “You blithering idiot, I’m in love with you.”
    He held up a hand as if to ward off another mug, though hers were empty. “Minute, okay. Just a minute.”

    “Oh, screw this.” She started to charge out, but he grabbed her hand, locked her down.
    “I said wait a damn minute.”
    “I hope you have a seizure, and it makes you stumble all around the room so you cut your feet to ribbons on broken glass.”
    “Love comes in many forms,” he muttered.
    “Don’t make fun of me. You started this. All I did was walk out my own back door one day.”
    “I’m not making fun of you. I’m trying to catch my breath.” His hand stayed firm on hers, and he stayed planted in the chair with a bag of frozen peas defrosting over his bruised knee.
    “When you say you’re in love with me, is that upper- or lowercase L ? Don’t you hit me,” he warned when he saw her other hand fist.
    “I have no intention of resorting to physical force.” But it had been a close one. Now she forced her hand, her arm, then her body to relax. “I’d appreciate it if you’d let go of my hand.”
    “Fine. Then I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t go storming out of here so I have to get up and limp after you, perhaps have a seizure and cut my feet to ribbons on broken glass.”
    Her lips twitched. “See? Damn it, that’s got to be why this happened to me. You’re no pushover, Goodnight, but you make yourself so damn affable it’s easy to think you’re pushable. And you’re accommodating, right up to a line you’ve drawn in your head. It would probably take dynamite to blast you over that line once you’ve drawn it. My mother was right. She’s always right.”
    On a sigh, she walked to his broom closet, got out the broom and dustpan. “You’re like my father.”
    “I am not.”
    She smiled and began to sweep up the shards. “I never got really serious about anyone before you because they never made the cut. They never measured up for me to the one man I admire most. My father.”
    “You’re right. We’re exactly alike. Separated at birth.”
    “It was lowercase, and that was disconcerting enough. Then thismorning, you opened the door and it was a big, fat, shiny capital L. And look at you. Your hair’s all stupid.”
    He lifted a hand in response, felt it. Grimaced. “Shit.”
    “And your underwear’s falling apart.”
    He hitched at the ragged waistband. “It’s got plenty of wear in it yet.”
    “You’re all bruised up and scowly. And it doesn’t matter. I’m sorry about the mug.”
    “Your brother mentioned you guys throw things. I’ve been in love with you since approximately ten-thirty P . M ., May ninth, 1992.”
    Her smile stayed soft as she dumped the shards in his trash can. “No, you haven’t.”
    “Easy for you to say. It was lowercase,” he continued while she replaced the broom. “With a lot of fantasy sparkling over it. Took on a different kind of glow after I actually met you, but it was the lowercase deal.”
    “I know. I’m going to be late,” she said when she looked at her watch. “I’m going to have a couple of cops assigned to you until—”
    “It grew up.”
    She dropped her hand, said nothing.
    “It grew up, Reena, so I guess we’re both going to have to figure out how to handle it.”
    She stepped to him, laid her cheek on the top of his head. She felt, actually felt her heart settle. “This is the strangest thing,” she told him. “And I can’t stay. I can’t stay any longer.”
    “It’s okay. It can wait.”
    She bent down until her lips met his. “I’ll call you later.” She kissed him again. “Be careful.” And again. “Be safe.”
    Then hurried out, dashing to the front door before he could lever out