Brother Cadfael 04: St. Peter's Fair

my heart and soul I do know it, for I am sure what he said was true." She moistened her lips, and said carefully: "I do not know King Stephen well enough to know what he would do, but I remember what he did here, last summer. I saw all those men, as honest in their allegiance as those who hold with the king, thrown into prison, their lives forfeit, their families stripped of land and living, some forced into exile ... I saw deaths and revenges and still more bitterness if the tide should turn again. So I did what I did."
    "I know what you did," said Brother Cadfael gently. He was bandaging the healing proof of it.
    "But still, you see," she persisted gravely, "I am not sure if I did right, and for right reasons. King Stephen at least keeps a kind of peace where his writ runs. My uncle was absolute for the empress, but if she comes, if all these who hold with her rise and join her, there will be no peace anywhere. Whichever way I look I see deaths. But all I could think of, then, was preventing him from gaining by his treachery and murders. And there was only one way, by destroying the letter. Since then I have wondered ... But I think now that I must stand by what I did. If there must be fighting, if there must be deaths, let it happen as God wills, not as ambitious and evil men contrive. Those lives we cannot save, at least let us not help to destroy. Do you think I was right? I have wanted someone's word, I should like it to be yours."
    "Since you ask what I think," said Cadfael, "I think my child, that if you carry scars on the fingers of this hand lifelong, you should wear them like jewels."
    Her lips parted in a startled smile. She shook her head over the persistent tremor of doubt. "But you must never tell Philip," she said with sudden urgency, holding him by the sleeve with her good hand. "As I never shall. Let him believe me as innocent as he is himself ..." She frowned over the word, which did not seem to her quite what she had wanted, but she could not find one fitter for her purpose. If it was not innocence she meant - for of what was she guilty? - was it simplicity, clarity, purity? None of them would do. Perhaps Brother Cadfael would understand, none the less. "I felt somehow mired," she said. "He should never set foot in intrigue, it is not for him."
    Brother Cadfael gave her his promise, and walked back through the town in a muse, reflecting on the complexity of women. She was perfectly right. Philip, for all his two years advantage, his intelligence, and his new and masterful maturity, would always be the younger, and the simpler, and - yes, she had the just word, after all! - the more innocent. In Cadfael's experience, it made for very good marriage prospects, where the woman was fully aware of her responsibilities.
    On the thirtieth of September, just two months after Saint Peter's Fair, the Empress Maud and her half-brother Robert of Gloucester landed near Arundel and entered into the castle there. But Earl Ranulf of Chester sat cannily in his own palatine, minded his own business, and stirred neither hand nor foot in her cause.