Bullheaded

out the window. “I don’t ride every bull, no one can, but usually I get it out of the way earlier in the year.”
    “‘Get it out of the way,’ he says.” Johnny laughed. “Like it’s all in a day’s work.”
    Clearly not hearing a word, Cody swung around. “This feels almost like cheating, but I need your help. Tomorrow they’ve got me on Failure to Yield and I’ve never been on him, never even seen him buck. What’s he like?”
    Johnny laughed. “If that’s cheating, they should kick the whole bunch of you riders to the curb. Everyone asks us about the bulls and the owners ask about the riders. Sit down and put your knee up.”
    Cody looked relieved about the ethics of asking a bullfighter for a tip, and consented to sit on the bed while Johnny applied pillows and ice. “If that bull is here, he’s got to be pretty good. Sam doesn’t bring in second-tier stock for the finals.”
    “Failure to Yield is an explosive, powerful bull out of the gate. He usually lands ten feet away, maybe more, from the first jump. He’s got so much forward motion that when he digs his feet in under him, he stops short and usually manages to pull the rider off over his head.”
    Cody was impressed. “That’s a pretty specific analysis. How the hell did you figure that out?”
    “View’s different from the ground,” Johnny said modestly. “If he can’t get the rider off after the first jump, he burns a hole in the dirt going in a circle, kicking and jumping all the way.”
    “Left or right?”
    “Yeah, left or right. Failure usually starts left, and then if that doesn’t work, he goes right. He’s got one of the most wicked corners in the business. But sometimes he’ll go right. They’ve got him scheduled for left-hand delivery, so my guess is he’ll go left. You just got to be ready.”
    “I should have asked you to help me all along,” Cody said. “When you told me to get my elbow down a few weeks back—”
    “Yeah, I could tell you stuff, except you start fixing one thing and then you start fixing things that ain’t broke. Sometimes it’s better to ride it out.”
    “And sometimes you just gotta ask someone standing a few feet away for what they see.”
    “It’s hard asking for help.”
    Cody swallowed hard. “Maybe for both of us.”
    “Maybe.”
    “Maybe this really is the end for me. Falling off one bull after another and not being able to cover even a practice bull really shot a hole in my confidence.”
    “But you’re riding good now,” Johnny protested.
    “I was the first man to fall off a bull in the finals! In the first round! I’ve always been known for going six for six in the finals.” Cody crossed his arms and turned to stare out the window again. “What if I can’t do it?”
    Johnny wanted to hug him, but somehow he sensed the reassurance Cody needed wasn’t from a lover, but from an expert, and if Cody had finally learned to respect him, he just might listen. Maybe Cody always had respected him and it was just hard to see it sometimes. Or maybe once the hard part of saying “I love you” was over, Cody felt safe enough with him to say how he felt.
    “There’s more to this than just the finals. Even if you lose, you won’t fail. There’s a purity in what you do, a spirit that transforms you when you’re on—when you’re in love with being up there. It’s what makes you so amazing to watch. Other bull riders are good, but it’s like you’re flying above them all. It’s like you have some kind of magic no one else can touch. Even if you fall, you just keep getting up and doing it again. You make it look effortless when you’re loving what you do.”
    “I’m afraid I’ll fuck up tomorrow.” Cody covered his face with both hands. “And that’ll be what people remember.”
    “Stop thinking you still have to prove something. Everyone already knows you’re the best. You torch everyone else when you don’t fuck up.”
    “I sucked all summer.”
    “Cody, just go out there and have fun. What do you love most in the world?”
    “You.” Cody dropped his hands, and Johnny was glad to see he finally cracked a smile.
    “Well, you’ve got me. After that.”
    “Riding bulls. I love it! It’s just—so exciting! I feel so alive.”
    “Then go out there and ride, babe. Forget about everyone else. Ride because you love it.”
    “You’re right. It’s not about the money or the buckle.”
    “Besides, you’re back. I saw you on Renegade Romeo today.