Bullheaded

it off.”
    “Maybe you should when you’re working.”
    “Maybe.”
    “And maybe it’s a good thing it’s the end of the season so you can get used to it.”
    “But why? Why not a vest or boots or something?”
    “I’m not so good with words. I want you to know what you mean to me. If I could marry you, I would,” Cody said with an intense stare, as if Johnny might not believe him.
    Johnny relaxed and smiled. “Maybe next time it’s legal we should hurry to the courthouse before it gets fucked up again.”
    “Is that a yes?”
    “It’s a yes, you idiot. And thank you.” Johnny pulled Cody close and kissed him, relishing being in his embrace.
    “I’m gonna miss you next year,” Cody mumbled into Johnny’s hair.
    “If you’re contracting your bulls to the Top Cut, I’m sure we’ll run into each other somewhere along the way.” Johnny ran his hands over Cody’s firmly muscled back. “Let’s go to bed.”
    “I don’t think I could get it up no matter what,” Cody said.
    “Neither can I. I meant to sleep.”
    “I guess this means I really am getting old,” Cody grumbled. “A hot naked man in my bed and all I want to do is take an aspirin and get some sleep.”

    T HEY made up for it the next morning, and neither of them felt old. The sex was molten and left them limp with satisfaction.
    It didn’t matter that Cody walked around with a shit-eating grin whenever he thought about it. Everyone chalked it up to his win. It took another day for the event to wind down. For the first time, Cody actually paid attention when a retired rider was inducted into the Ring of Honor. He had a sense of belonging to something with tradition and community instead of being an isolated rider only looking for his own glory.
    He stood up and applauded with everyone else, and this time he really meant it. He felt like one of the crowd of riders and bullfighters and contractors.
    “You’re looking rather exalted,” Johnny teased when they filed out.
    “Continuity,” Cody said. “I guess I didn’t fully realize what I belong to.”
    “It will go on, even if you’re not riding.”
    “Yeah, I guess I’m figuring it out, finally.”

    I T WAS different going home this time, even though they landed at the same airfield. Cody’s truck was parked there waiting for them. The drive along Route 101 was the same. The dirt road and log bridge hadn’t changed. The big house was standing open to welcome them, a light on in every window. Beyond, he could see the porch light burning at their own bungalow.
    When they stepped inside the screen door, Davis appeared in the hallway, saying, “Val, the boys are home.”
    Cody went on ahead to hug his father while Johnny stepped into the living room. The saddle was still there on its stand and a new box was up on the wall, empty and waiting for the gold buckle that shone on Cody’s belt. It felt like home, and this time Johnny was ready to claim it.
    Like last time, Val came up beside him and slipped her hand into the crook of his elbow. “Good to be home?”
    “It’s great,” Johnny said. “I’ve missed this.”
    “We missed you, Johnny.”
    The supper with Travis and RJ, listening to the news of the ranch, and washing the dishes made the minutes count down deliberately until they were able to make love in their own bed once again.
    The next morning they saddled up their horses to ride into the hills. Johnny wondered if Cody was trying to recreate the last day they were happy here before it all fell apart. He thought Cody seemed nervous, and had to smile because there was no reason to be nervous anymore.
    Cody was silent until they came to his tree and tied the horses. He wrapped his arms around Johnny as he’d done last time and leaned against the tree. “I love you.”
    “Love you too,” Johnny said.
    “I told my parents this morning I’m hanging up the spurs.”
    “What did they say?”
    “Dad said it was my decision, and Mom belted out part of the ‘Hallelujah Chorus’ until I told her I got the message.” Cody sniggered.
    “I can hear her now,” Johnny said.
    “Yeah, she doesn’t hold back telling how she feels.”
    Johnny could feel Cody shift his weight behind him and waited.
    “It’s going to seem weird not seeing you all the time.”
    “Hey, if you’re contracting your bulls out, you’ll be around,” Johnny said. “Besides, there are breaks for holidays and such. It’s not like I’ll be on the road all the time.”
    “It