Carter Reed

around her. I wanted to reassure her that we’d be alright. No matter how far we had to go, we’d be alive.
    Her whole body started to shake as I hugged her. More sobs came out, and I could only hold her tighter. My hand smoothed her hair as I rocked her back and forth.
    She grabbed onto me. Her hands formed into fists around my shirt. As tight as I was holding her, she clung to me even tighter. “Please don’t leave again.”
    I shook my head. “I won’t. I promise.”
    Ben stood in the doorway of the kitchen, watching us. His scowl softened and showed his fear. Then his eyes darkened into something that looked like panic before he turned away. The sink was turned on later and sounds of doing the dishes came next.
    “She hasn’t been sleeping much.” I saw Amanda in the bedroom doorway. She gave me a sad smile, but I saw the same exhaustion that Ben had. She was in a blue tee shirt and a different pair of jeans. When she noticed that I was looking at her clothes, she lifted a shoulder up before she crossed her arms over her chest. “I went to work yesterday and grabbed some clothes for everyone.” She glanced towards the kitchen. “Ben didn’t go in. He was too scared to leave her. Every time she tries to sleep, she only gets an hour. Always wakes up screaming from what…,” she hesitated, “he did to her.”
    Ben cleared his voice behind us. A towel was clenched in both of his hands now. “Can you get her to sleep a little?”
    Amanda looked back at me. She shifted on her feet, uncomfortably. “She needs you or me to be with her. I’ve been…” She glanced over her shoulder at Ben. “Ben’s tried, but she won’t let him touch her. So I’ve been…”
    I got it. My stomach twisted, but I nodded and led Mallory towards the bedroom. After an hour of lying in bed with her, holding her, she fell asleep. I waited another hour to make sure she stayed asleep. Her breaths were even and deep so I snuck out. When I went to the kitchen, Ben looked exhausted in a chair. His shoulders drooped down, and he had bags under his own eyes. A cup of coffee sat in front of him, but when I touched it, it was cold.
    His coffee pot was empty. “You want another pot started?”
    He jerked his head up, as if seeing me for the first time. “Oh. Uh. Yeah. Thanks.” He ran a hand over his face, waking himself up. “She’s asleep?”
    I dumped the little bit of coffee left down the sink and refilled it with water. “Yeah. It took an hour.”
    He nodded.
    “Is Amanda still here?”
    “No.” The exhaustion had turned into a glaze over his eyes. “She went home for a break. She’ll be back tomorrow. I think she said something about getting new clothes or something.”
    After pouring the water in his coffee pot, I rummaged through his cupboards, looking for his coffee grounds. “And maybe food.” His cupboards were sparse except the huge bin of ground coffee beans. I put two healthy scoops in the machine and hit the button. It wasn’t long before it started to gurgle to life.
    “Yeah, I haven’t gone to the grocery store in awhile. I’ve been too nervous…” He trailed off, lost in thought as he stared at the table.
    “Too scared to leave?”
    He jerked his head in a nod. “Yeah.” A sad laugh left him. “I’m a grown man, and I’m terrified. I can’t step out the door. I’m afraid they’re out there, that they know, they’re watching. And her.” He glanced in Mallory’s direction. “I can’t touch her. I tried to help her when she asked. She didn’t want his touch, but now it’s mine that disgusts her.”
    “No, it’s not. It’s his. Trust me. You did help her. You are helping her.”
    He lifted stricken eyes to me. “I’ve been an asshole to you. Why are you being nice to me?”
    I shrugged but huddled back in my chair. I understood. “Because you want to help her but don’t know how. I understand. Believe me.”
    He shook his head with his eyes closed. “I have no idea what to do, Emma. None whatsoever. She has to go to work. I have to go to work. I called and covered for us, but that’ll give us a week. We have to figure out how to clean this mess up in a few more days.” He looked towards the door again. “I’m so scared to go out there. You have no idea.”
    “I do. I really do.”
    Then he sighed. The momentary truce ended as he pushed up from the chair. “I’m going to clean up. That’s all I’ve been doing. I just clean. Clean the dishes, clean the table, clean the