Chase: Roman

them?’
        ‘No,’ Judge said, perplexed.
        Chase was still laughing, but he realized it was not healthy laughter, too forced and tight for that. He stopped and sat there for a moment, regaining his composure. He said, ‘What about Blentz?’
        ‘I knew him once - in the Biblical sense.’
        ‘He was your lover?’ Chase asked.
        ‘Yes. But he was petty and nasty, and he threatened to expose me for what I was. He didn't care about his own involvement. He said he wouldn't care if the whole city knew.’
        ‘He had the right attitude,’ Chase said.
        ‘Exposing your own sin, revelling in it? That is a healthy attitude?’
        ‘Something like homosexuality is only a sin if you want to think of it that way,’ Chase said. ‘To other people, it's just another way of facing the world.’
        ‘You're corrupted, like everyone else,’ Judge said. ‘At least I recognize it for the weakness it is.’
        ‘How long ago were you and Blentz lovers?’
        Judge said, ‘Two years ago, maybe longer. We saw each other occasionally since then, but not in anything but a social context.’
        ‘When did he call to tell you I'd been around asking questions?’
        ‘Sunday afternoon. He wanted to see me Monday morning, and he made the mistake of hinting that he knew what I'd done.’
        ‘Why wouldn't he have gone straight to the police?’
        Judge strained at his ropes, then sank back, gasping for breath. When he could speak easily again, he said. ‘He wanted money. The same way he threatened to expose me two years ago, same payoff.’
        ‘I'd think he would have more money than you,’ Chase said.
        ‘He gambled. When he saw this chance, he took it.’
        ‘You shot him with that gun?’
        ‘Yes.’
        Chase said, ‘Where'd you get the grenade?’
        Judge seemed to brighten for a moment. ‘I'm a major in the reserves. When we had manoeuvres this summer, it was a simple matter to lift one of them from the metal storage chests they keep them in. I thought it might come in handy, and it almost did.’
        Chase found paper and pen in the dining-room desk, picked up a large coffee-table picture book on Africa and brought everything back to Linski. He placed the book on Linski's lap, the paper on the book, the pen on the paper. He said, ‘I've tied your hands separately. I'm going to loosen your right hand and hold onto it with this rope. I'll dictate a confession; you'll write it. If you try anything, I'll beat the shit out of you. Do you believe that?’
        ‘I believe it,’ Judge said.
        Chase dictated the confession, saw that it was done properly, retied Judge's arm. He put the book on the coffee table again, put the pen in the desk.
        ‘You must be thrilled,’ Judge said. ‘I don't know how you found me, but it must be a clever story that'll make nice front-page reading.’
        ‘I won't let it get into the paper,’ Chase said. ‘At least not my part in it.’
        ‘Bullshit, Chase. Pure bullshit. You know there's no way you can keep it off page one. Even if you won't admit it, you must know you're a publicity monger, a cheap little tin war hero who has had his taste of glory and can't break the habit.’
        ‘No,’ Chase said. ‘You don't understand at all.’
        ‘Get a kick out of being a celebrity, do you? You killed all those women and children-’
        ‘Not me alone.’
        ‘- and now every time you get your picture in the paper, you're trading on that kind of ‘heroism.’ Medal of Honor winner. What a laugh that is, Chase. You're disgusting.’
        ‘I didn't want the medal,’ Chase said. He did not know why he had to defend himself to Judge of all people.
        ‘Sure.’
        ‘That's the truth.’
        ‘But you took it and the car and the awards dinner.’
        ‘Because that was the quickest way to get it over with and settle down again. If I'd refused any of those things, the curiosity of the press would have been ten times worse.’
        ‘Rationalization, that's all.’
        ‘It isn't!’ Chase shouted. ‘Dammit, I don't want to be a hero. I just want to live, the best that I can, as happy as I can. I'm not a hero at all.’
        ‘Why don't you tell that to the press?’
        Chase stood up, agitated. He did not want to go on in this vein any longer. He said, ‘Did you really intend to kill Glenda?’
        The blonde slut