Cloud Walking

only one I want to be with. Come on...I hate it when we fight. Please go to the party with me,” she begged and I scratched the back of my neck in agitation. It was just a ride to the party. And I did care about the girl, even if she drove me nuts.

    And maybe this is what I needed to stop thinking about a particular other girl who I shouldn't be thinking about in that way, at all.

    And that was what made up my mind for me.

    Rachel.

    Why did everything keep circling back to her lately?

    “Sure, Kylie. That's fine. I'll pick you up at eight,” I conceded.

    “Great! I can't wait to see you Danny! I meant what I said, I've really missed you.” And there it was. That little glimpse at the vulnerable side of Kylie Good that no one else got to see. And that little glimpse was enough for me to lose my hesitation. I wasn't swearing my undying love. I wasn't jumping back into our intolerable relationship. I would just spend time with her and would try not to think about the girl I really wanted to be with.

    “Yeah,” I said, not agreeing or denying her statement. After that, I ended the phone call, not sure I had made the best decision.

    And then my phone rang again making my heart stop.

    Shit, it was Rachel.

    I answered it hesitantly. It felt weird talking to her so soon after making plans with Kylie. Even though it shouldn't. It's not like Rachel was my girlfriend. For all intents and purposes, Kylie had been my girlfriend. Even though she wasn't anymore, I had to add vehemently.

    That wasn't the point.

    The point was I shouldn't feel like I was cheating on Rachel by agreeing to go to Melissa's party with Kylie. It was insane. I was insane.

    “Hiya Rach,” I said, trying to go for neutral and unaffected and swearing that I was failing miserably.

    “Hey loser. We on for Melissa's tonight?” Rachel asked in a voice that wasn't babyish or annoying. Then I realized what she had asked me. Crap. Had we made plans to go to the party together? I wracked my brain but came up blank. Fuckety-fuck-fuck!

    “Uh...well, I...well...” I was stumbling all over my words like some low functioning moron with a brain defect. Open mouth, insert foot.

    “Daniel. Are you not going to pick me up for Melissa's party? Is that what I'm to take away from your monosyllabic mumbling?” Rachel asked tersely. Time to salvage. I needed to do it before she came through the phone and strangled me.

    “Of course Rach. I can pick you up and then we can go get Kylie.” I just decided to bite the bullet. I mean, she was going to be pissed no matter what, might as well make it now rather than later. There was an immediate silence. I wondered for a moment if she had hung up. Not that I would blame her.

    “Rach?” I asked into the dead air. Why did her anger make me want to run and hide? I had never been freaked out by it before. But now, the thought of her being pissed at me had me trembling in my sneakers. So much for smooth, lady's man, Daniel Lowe. I think he'd been kicked squarely in the proverbial nut sack and wouldn't be making a reappearance until I decided to grow some damn chest hair and grow up.

    “Just forget it. You have fun with Kylie, ” Rachel spit out and then it was my turn to get pissed. Who the hell was she to give me a hard time about taking my ex-girlfriend to a party? I really didn't recall making plans with her. So, this time I really wasn't blowing her off. So what gives?!

    “No need to be a bi..witch about it, Rach. It's not like we had definite plans or anything,” I snapped, though I was glad I had stopped myself from making the colossal mistake of assigning her the “b” word. That would have brought on the apocalypse for sure. I was definitely playing for Team Dumbass this evening on all fronts.

    “You're right, Daniel. We didn't have plans. I guess I just wanted to hang out is all.” Her voice sounded sad, even as she tried to cover it up.

    “I'm sorry, Rach. Seriously...” I started but she cut me off.

    “Just forget it, Danny. I'm being silly. Of course you'd want to hang out with your girlfriend. I get it. Have fun and I'll see you there,” she backpedaled. I wish she wouldn't do that. It was as though she believed her thoughts and feelings were less important than everyone else's. I started to tell her that Kylie wasn't my girlfriend anymore, because needing to clarify that seemed really important just then, but I realized Rachel had already hung up.

    It was going to be a