Coda 01 - Promises

out of the cabinet and poured two extra large shots. “Here.” He handed one to me and downed his in one swallow.
    “I hate this stuff.”

    “Trust me,” he said as he poured another one for himself. “It won’t be quite so painful if you’re half drunk too.”

    He was wrong. It was still painful.
    We had dinner on the patio. The sun was still up but low in the sky, casting long shadows across the lawn. It was a beautiful night, contrasting strangely with the tension at the table as we stumbled through small talk. Of course, with my family, the conversation eventually turned to football.
    “Are you a Chiefs fan too?” Brian asked Joseph.
    “Hell, no. I’m a Cowboys fan. I think Matt picked another team just to be rebellious. At least he didn’t pick the damn Redskins.”
    “I was pretty sure you would have thrown me out of the house for that one,” Matt said dryly.
    “Damn right.” I couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. “Lucy,” Mom jumped in, “do you work outside of the home?”
    Lucy looked a little startled, as if she hadn’t realized she might have to speak during dinner. “No, not anymore. I was a nurse for twenty-five years, but I’m retired now.”
    “Did you work at a hospital or in an office?”
    “In a hospital. I worked in several departments over the years, but what I loved the most was the maternity ward. I was there for the last ten years. All those babies.” For the first time her hands were still, held together in front of her like she praying. She smiled nostalgically and turned to Lizzy. “When are you due?”
    “Halloween.”
    Lucy turned to Mom. She was still smiling but looking sad at the same time. “I envy you. I keep hoping for a grandchild.” She glanced at Matt and then back at the table in front of her. Suddenly her smile was gone and she was fidgeting again. She looked like she regretted having said that. I realized why when Joseph opened his mouth.
    “Doesn’t look to me like you’re ever going to get one so you might as well quit hoping. As far as I can tell, Matt isn’t ever going to do his duty in that department.”
    “You might have noticed that I’m not physically capable of producing a child on my own.” There was not a hint of humor in his voice. Matt was staring at his plate. I had a feeling this was not a new argument.
    “Don’t be a smartass with me. It’s past time for you to marry and settle down. You’re not getting any younger.”

    “We’re planning a vacation,” Lucy said suddenly, in a desperately obvious ploy to change the subject.

    Lizzy jumped in with her. “That’s great, Lucy. Where are you going?”

    “Florida, I think, although I don’t know if we should go to—” “Are you dating anyone?” Joseph did not seem to be aware that the topic of conversation had been changed.

    “No, Dad. I’ve been busy. It’s not that easy to meet people.”
    I was actually a little surprised at that, since I knew there were several single women in town who would have killed for a date with him.
    “Bullshit! What about Jared here?” I just about jumped out of my chair. For half a second, I thought he was suggesting that Matt date me . But then he went on. “I’m sure he can introduce you to someone. Jared, you have a girlfriend, right?”
    “Uh,” I was feeling terribly off balance, considering what a simple question it was. “No, sir.”

    “Why the hell not?”
    “Well.” Matt was turning toward me with sheer horror in his eyes, trying to warn me, but it was too late. The words were already out of my mouth. “I’m gay.”
    Matt’s head went down, elbows on the table and fingers laced behind his head like somebody had just yelled “duck and cover.” Lucy’s mouth formed an O of surprise, and her fidgety fingers went in to overdrive.
    “You’re gay?” Joseph’s voice was terribly loud and slightly slurred. “You mean you’re a fag?”
    “Well….” I was looking around the table for help, but there didn’t seem to be any forthcoming. They were all frozen in states of dreadful anticipation. Our dinner had turned into some kind of movie of the week, and no matter how poorly acted it was, nobody seemed to be changing the channel.
    “So you like to fuck other men up the ass?”
    That woke them all up. Everybody at the table jumped a little when he said that, but Lizzy recovered quickest. She turned back to Lucy and said loudly, “I’m sorry, Lucy. I missed what you said. Where in Florida are you