Coda 01 - Promises

possible?”

    “Trust me.”

    A FTER that, Matt made no effort to hide our relationship. He still had his apartment, but more and more of his things were finding their way to my house, and he spent every night in my bed. I certainly had no complaints about that, but I was surprised to find that I was suddenly the one who wanted to avoid being seen together in public. When we weren’t lovers and I knew people might think we were, it hadn’t mattered. But now that it was true, I was suddenly embarrassed. I was sure that everybody was staring or whispering about us. I knew it was childish and completely illogical, but I couldn’t seem to stop worrying about it. And it wasn’t hard to convince him to stay home with me those first few days.
    The biggest point of contention, however, quickly became his coworkers. Specifically, my unwillingness to meet them or spend time with them.
    “Jared, just meet them,” he said on more than one occasion. “Why would I want to meet them? I know what they think of me.”

    “I know it will be awkward at first, but it will help in the long run.”

    “No!” I couldn’t believe he expected me to subject myself to their derision.

    That exchange began to take on the repetition of a broken record.
    Of course we went to Lizzy and Brian’s for Thanksgiving dinner. The minute Matt walked in the door, Lizzy flew at him and threw her arms around him with a squeal.
    “Oh Matt, it’s so good to see you!”
“You, too, Lizzy.”
    “I told Jared you would pull your head out of your ass eventually!”
    He turned bright red but said, “Right, as usual.”
She beamed at him.
    Brian brought James in and started to hand him to Matt. Matt’s reaction was the same as mine had been.
    “I can’t hold him! What if I drop him?”
“You won’t.”
    James looked tiny in Matt’s big hands. Matt sat on the couch holding him for a while. He unwrapped him and checked all of his fingers and toes. He brushed his fingers over James’s cheek and smiled when James turned his head toward them, his tiny lips making suckling sounds.
    “He’s so tiny.”

    “Yes.” Lizzy rubbed her hand on the top of Matt’s head. “Are you going to help Jared watch him on our date night?”
    “You bet.”
“Then I hereby name you an honorary uncle. Uncle Matt.” He gave her his dazzling smile. “I like the sound of that.”
    T HE day of my meeting with the high school committee arrived. I made an effort to look a little more respectable than usual. I spent a ridiculously long time trying to get all of my curls back into a ponytail and wore the one pair of slacks that I owned and a buttonup shirt and tie.
    “Wow.” Matt said when I came out of the bedroom. “You’re really pulling out all the stops. Are you nervous?”

    “Very.”

    “It will be fine. I’ll have a beer open for you when you get back.”
    I felt like I was going off to war, and I was armed for battle. I had thought it over and decided that I was going to fight them. I took a copy of my teacher’s certificate with me and the supportive letters I had received from some of the parents. If the parents wanted me to tutor their kids, why did the school have to get involved at all?
    Walking into the high school was strange. I hadn’t been there since I was a student fifteen years earlier, but it seemed like nothing had changed. The mural on the wall was the same; the strange speckled linoleum was the same. Even the weird smell was the same. I felt sure that I could walk up to my old locker and open it up, and my books would still be sitting there waiting for me. It brought back all those feelings from my high school years of trying to hide what I knew I was. It didn’t help my confidence any.
    The “committee” consisted of four people. Mr. Stevens, the band director, was one of them. Alice Rochester started to make introductions, and I was surprised that they were assuming we were all on a first-name basis.
    “This is Ann, our math teacher.” Alice indicated a small blonde woman, younger than me, who probably had every one of her male students wrapped around her finger. “And Roger, our science teacher.” About my age, but short and pudgy. “And I think you know Bill, our band instructor.” Of course he was wearing a bow tie. I shook hands all around and then sat in the chair they had left for me.
    “Jared,” Alice began, “we’ve been hearing a lot about you lately. Several of our students have been talking, and we’ve