Coda 03 -The Letter Z

disappointment. “That was Miss Saigon .” Which of course makes me laugh. Jonathan obviously doesn’t see what’s funny. He looks at me like I’ve lost my mind, and I cut my laugh short and drink more beer.
“Do you still have Geisha?” Jonathan asks.
“Technically,” Zach says, as he pours himself more wine. “She’s Angelo’s cat now.”
I’m surprised how shocked Jonathan looks at that. “You didn’t want her anymore?” he asks accusingly.
    “ She didn’t want me .”
“I don’t understand.”
“She hates him,” I say.
And before Jonathan can say anything to that, Zach says, “Exactly.
    She loves Angelo. She hates me. So now she’s his.”
“She’s a cat, Zach. I’m sure she doesn’t hate —”
“You think you know more ’bout her than Zach does, when you
    haven’t been ’round for ten fuckin’ years?” I ask.

    Matt kicks me, under the table, and Jared says, “Jonathan, are you a football fan?” and that’s the end of that conversation.
    The food comes, and they’re all still talkin’. I just nurse my overpriced beer, and eat my overpriced dinner, and keep my fuckin’ mouth shut. I wish everybody would stop talkin’ and eat, ’cause the sooner we finish, the sooner we can get the fuck out of there, away from Zach’s ex-boyfriend. I manage to avoid his attention through most of the meal, but then he says to Jared, “You’ve lived in Colorado your whole life?”
    “Yep.”
“Did you go to CU? We must have all been there at the same time.”
    Jared gives him this look , like he’s tryin’ to decide if he can give him a hard time or not. “Only rich kids from out of state go to CU,” he says, with a smile. “Coloradoans go to CSU.”
    Zach and Jonathan both laugh at that, and Jonathan says, “The Aggies are always jealous of the Big Twelve kids.”
Jared actually looks annoyed at that, and I think he’s ’bout to say somethin’ rude, but Matt puts his hand on Jared’s wrist, and says to Jonathan, “Don’t get him started! No need to bring the Rocky Mountain Showdown to dinner.”
Jonathan sort of nods his head in Jared’s direction in apparent acquiescence and says, “Fair enough. So, what about you, Matt? Where did you go to school?”
“Oklahoma State.” But the way he says it, anybody can tell he doesn’t want to talk ’bout his past. So then of course Jonathan looks at me.
“How about you, Angelo?”
No way am I gonna admit to him I’m a high school dropout. I want more than anything to just punch him in the face, but instead I smile and say, “Harvard Law. My job at the video store’s just a cover so the rest of you schmucks don’t feel bad.”
I think they laugh, but I’m not sure ’cause I’m busy slammin’ the rest of my beer, and then the last of Zach’s dirt-flavored wine too. Wish like hell I believed in God so I could pray for this disaster of a night to be over.
Zach squeezes my knee, under the table, and smiles at me. I do my best to smile back, but it’s a pretty fuckin’ weak effort. His hand moves up my thigh. He’s tryin’ to cheer me up. Wish it was workin’.
Dinner finally ends, and I’ve never been so relieved in my life to find out that nobody wants dessert. But then Jonathan looks at everybody and says, “The night’s still young. What would you all like to do?” Matt, Jared and Zach all just give each other blank stares, and Jonathan says, “It’s too late to get tickets to a show. How about a club?”
“What kind of club?” Jared asks, looking skeptical.
Jonathan smiles at him. “Our kind of club. There’s one just a block off-Strip.”
    Matt just shrugs. Zach looks at me. “Do you want to go out?” And suddenly, I do. I been sittin’ there listenin’ to Jonathan, gettin’ more and more annoyed by the minute. And a night out sounds like exactly what I need. It’s been a long time since I really did the club scene.
    I mean, yeah, those last few years before Zach, I’d go there when I wanted to score. But even then, I didn’t really work the club. Not like I used to.
    I think ’bout how it feels to get out there in that mass of people. To have a couple of drinks. To flirt, and fool around a bit with an anonymous stranger. It’s a good way to blow off a little steam. Not sure how Zach will feel ’bout it, but I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.
    “Sounds great,” I say.
    “I don’t think it’s a good idea,” Jared suddenly says, and I know the look I give him should be burnin’