Corpse Suzette

until she gets here this afternoon. Then I’ll
surprise her with it. Don’t you think she’ll be thrilled? I mean, this is the
chance of a lifetime! Who wouldn’t be?”
    Who wouldn't be thrilled to
know that their cousin entered them into a contest for a total physical
makeover—an ordeal involving torturous exercise , a starvation diet, and having
your body carved, vacuumed, and stitched—the chance for a big, fat “caterpillar ” to emerge as a socially acceptable “butterfly”? Yeah, who wouldn’t be just
jazzed about that? Savannah mulled that one over.
    “When is Abigail getting
here?” she asked with lackluster enthusiasm.
    “I’m picking her up at LAX
this afternoon. She’s flying in from New York. I figured I’d bring her straight
here from the airport. She thinks she’s just here for a California vacation:
some sun, some beach, Disneyland. Wait until she finds out! She’s going to be
so happy!” Tammy bounced off to the kitchen and quickly returned with yet
another roll.
    Savannah took it and held
it close to her nose, breathing in the warm, cinnamon-scented sweetness. Yes,
she intended to savor this frosting-coated bit of bribery. Because, in spite of
Miss Tammy-Pollyanna’s optimism, Savannah had a feeling that before Cousin
Abigail’s California visit was over, she was going to earn every stinking,
guilt-laden calorie.

Chapter

2
     
     
     
    “I thought you’d made a New
Year’s resolution not to let any ¿relatives come visit you,” Ryan Stone said as
he dished up bowls full of Savannah’s banana pudding and handed them to her for
the mega-dollop of whipped cream.
    Savannah shrugged. “Yes,
but you know as well as I do that New Year’s resolutions don’t even last as
long as the Christmas fudge. Besides, I meant any of my own crazy
Georgian relatives. I forgot to include Tammy’s family.”
    Ryan leaned over her to
pull another bowl out of the cupboard, and Savannah had to remember to breathe.
Even after years of friendship, Savannah hadn’t gotten over her crush on Ryan.
He was straight off the pages of one of her romance novels: tall, dark, and
heart-stop handsome. A simple smile from him could set her knickers aquiver,
but having him close enough for her to smell his two-hundred-dollar-a-half-ounce
cologne was enough to cause all of her vital systems to shut down.
    But long ago, Savannah had
given up any dreams of sharing anything more than banana pudding-scooping with
him. And the reason had just walked into her kitchen: Ryan’s life partner, John
Gibson.
    “May I be of any
assistance?” John asked in his velvety British accent. His thick silver hair
glowed against his pale blue cash-mere sweater, which was the same shade as his
eyes. John wasn’t exactly hard to look at either. And he was the epitome of
grace and generosity.
    “Why don’t you go ask Tammy
and Abigail if they want coffee or tea,” she suggested. “I made both... Earl
Grey for you, John, of course.”
    He leaned over and gave her
a kiss, tickling her cheek with his lush mustache. Lowering his voice he said,
“Must I? I was hoping to escape for just a moment or so. Ryan, would you be so
kind?”
    Ryan gave him a withering
look. “Right, send me back in there. No thanks. Savannah asked you to do it.”
    They looked at each other,
then at Savannah, and they both gave her sheepish grins.
    “What is this?” she said.
“Neither one of you wants to go back into my living room and visit with my
guests?”
    Ryan chuckled. “We love
Tammy.”
    John nodded. “It’s true.
We’ve always had a special fondness for Tammy, darling girl that she is.”
    “And Abigail is her
cousin,” Savannah said, “and this little party is to welcome Abby to
California, so go get welcoming. Why do you think I invited you guys over here
tonight?”
    “Uh... to dilute the bitter
cup of social tea brewing in your household,” John replied evenly. “At least,
that would be my guess.”
    “Mine, too,” Ryan added. “I
know if I had to contend with... that person... for any length of time, I’d be
inviting you over to smooth out the bumpy patches.”
    “That bad, eh?”
    John sighed. “I merely
mentioned something about a fascinating program I’d watched on the Discovery
Channel about the hippopotami the Congo, and she took offense. Asked me if that
were some sort of wisecrack aimed at her.”
    Savannah placed the bowls
on a serving tray along with some spoons and napkins. “She does seem to be a
bit touchy