Covet (Clann)

myself turning in her arms, holding on to her, and it was there in that moment that it finally, truly sank in.
    I would never see my dad again, never talk to him or have the chance to ask him anything about how to lead or what to do. He would never be able to teach me anything new about magic or football or the best way to deal with my neurotic, controlling mother in any situation.
    “He’s gone, Sav. He’s really gone.” I buried my face in the curve where her neck and shoulder met, my arms around her waist, grateful for once that she was so strong and I didn’t have to worry that I might break her. The rage and pain rose up, trying to drown me from the inside out, but she was my anchor, saving me, grounding me, holding me together, her hands stroking my back in soothing motions that gradually tugged me away from the darkness.
    She knew how I felt right now. She’d gone through it, too, after her Nanna’s death.
    I hadn’t known then, couldn’t possibly relate. This level of pain and loss was something that had to be personally felt in order to be understood.
    “I know,” she murmured. “It feels like someone’s ripped out your insides, doesn’t it?”
    I nodded, unsure I could even speak. I’d lost all control, even wet her shirt with childish tears. She was the last person I’d ever wanted to see me like this.
    I dragged my sleeves over my face before leaning back to search her eyes, wondering if she thought I was weak. But all I saw was…love. It shone out of her gaze, warm, without judgment, telling me we were still the same. Vampire or witch, right or wrong in everyone else’s eyes, when I looked at Savannah, I saw beyond the exterior to the person she was deep down, and I recognized the one person on this planet who made me more, who matched me so completely she left me breathless and lost in wonder. She didn’t complete me, or fill some stupid, imaginary hole inside me. And it was way bigger and more important than our being two puzzle pieces made to fit together. It was something for which I had no words, only an undeniable feeling of everything being right when we were together and wrong when we were apart.
    “I don’t know who I am without you,” I murmured, cupping her face, needing her to stay and hear me and not run away like she always seemed to be doing lately. “I don’t like who I am without you in my life. Without you, everything is just wrong.”
    Tears shimmered in her eyes then slipped over the edges and fell down her cheeks. “I know.”
    I took a deep breath, hoping she would hear and believe me. “Things are going to be seriously bad for a while.”
    She nodded.
    “No. I mean it, Sav. You’ve got to really hear me this time, okay? With Dad gone, the Clann’s going to be leaderless until Saturday. That means there will be no one to stop any descendant from doing whatever they want. So you need to leave Jacksonville for a while.”
    She ignored that last point, setting my gut to churning with fear that she wasn’t taking me seriously. “What happens on Saturday?”
    “The Clann will elect a new leader after Dad’s funeral.”
    “And that’s when you’ll officially become the leader.” I could see her pulling away from me. The growing distance was there in her eyes.
    “Not necessarily. Dylan’s dad wants the job.”
    Her eyes widened. “Then you’d better get the majority vote. If you don’t…”
    “Yeah. We’ll be dragged into another war for sure.”
    She swallowed hard, and though she didn’t pull free from my hands where they still framed her face, she looked down at her lap.
    “Then I guess I’d better wish you good luck for Saturday.”
    “I don’t want to be Clann leader, Sav. But we need this.”
    “I know.”
    “Then what’s wrong? What’s going on inside that mind of yours?”
    She bit her lower lip for a few torturous seconds then forced a smile that didn’t reach her eyes as she looked up. “I’m sure you’ll still be chosen. The Williams family is too annoying and unlikable to vote for. And once you’re Clann leader, my dad and I will be safe, right?”
    “Right. Once I’m leader, everything will be better. I’ll make sure the peace treaty stays in place. And I think in time I can maybe even teach the descendants not to hate the vamps. Well, maybe. Some of their issues run pretty deep. But we’ll work on it. In time, they’ll come around.”
    “That would be nice.”
    But she was still holding back.
    “What is it?”