Cut and Run 4 - Divide and Conquer
and his voice definitely shook.
“What can I do to help you, Zane?” Deuce asked in a gentle
voice.
“I just… not much scares me anymore, you know?” Zane tried to
explain. “But this….”
“You don‟t deal well with uncertainty,” Deuce observed almost
clinically. “Not many people do. Why does it scare you?”
“I can‟t work if I‟m blind. What am I going to do with myself? I
couldn‟t stand the idea of someone having to—” Zane cut himself off
before his voice rose any further. He wouldn‟t be a charity case. He just
couldn‟t stomach it.
“Take care of you?” Deuce finished for him. “Are those the only
reasons? Your job and your pride?”
“No,” Zane murmured as he spread his fingers over Ty‟s chest.
“Those aren‟t the only reasons.”
“Spill, Zane,” Deuce ordered. “Get it out now.”
The words balled up in Zane‟s throat. He was talking to Ty‟s
brother, for heaven‟s sake. “I‟m afraid,” he whispered. “I‟m afraid it‟ll
change things.”
“What things?” Deuce asked. “Relationship things?”
“Oh yeah,” Zane answered in a rush.
124 | Madeleine Urban & Abigail Roux
“You think my brother will dump you because you‟re blind,”
Deuce surmised in a troubled voice.
Zane hesitated. “I don‟t want to think that. It‟s….” He grasped for
a word. “Disloyal.”
“Disloyal,” Deuce repeated curiously. “To whom? To Ty?”
“Yes, to Ty.” Zane frowned. “Who else is there?”
Deuce hummed thoughtfully. “There‟s you, Zane,” he continued
after a pause.
“Me?” Zane shook his head as he inhaled deeply and sighed. “I
don‟t follow.”
Deuce sighed, long and loud. “If there‟s one thing my big brother
taught me, it‟s that sometimes you have to look out for number one.
Don‟t worry so much about what he‟ll do or what he‟ll think.”
Zane sighed. “Well, until just recently I was the only one looking
out for me, so I‟m kind of used to that part of it.”
“Tell me something, Zane,” Deuce said in a sly voice. “Is that
really the biggest thing you‟re worried about right now? That Ty might
leave you?”
Zane pressed his lips together hard. The tone of Deuce‟s voice
made him a little suspicious. But Deuce was never cruel, even if he did
like to tease sometimes. Zane was worried about so many things he
couldn‟t even start to rank them, but Ty—and whether Ty would still
want him after such a radical change—really stood out. Zane figured it
was a reflection of how much their relationship had developed. The
next words were out before he thought them through. “He said he loves
me.”
“I know he does,” Deuce assured him with a laugh. “I‟m
surprised he told you, but I‟m glad he did. So, keeping that in mind, I‟ll
ask you again: is that really the biggest thing you‟re concerned about?”
Zane closed his eyes, even though it made no difference in the
darkness, and really considered the question. What did he really have?
His job, and Ty. If it came down to it and he lost his job, he was
relatively sure he could flounder his way into something else to do,
somehow. But if he lost Ty, Zane just wasn‟t sure he‟d care about
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anything else. The slight pangs of pain he felt whenever he caught Ty
looking at him in a particular way came more often now, and it was
starting to make him want things he wasn‟t sure he could handle.
“Damn it,” he swore under his breath, hoping Ty really was asleep.
“Yes.”
“Well, I‟d say that‟s pretty good, then,” Deuce said happily. “I
mean, as far as problems go. Ty‟s too stubborn to leave you if he loves
you.”
Zane let out a groan that reflected both frustration and relief. It
helped so much just to hear that. “So I‟m stressing over what‟s
probably nothing. Paranoia.”
“I wouldn‟t call it paranoia. More… spinning your mental
wheels. I mean, has he given any indication that he might leave now?
What‟s he been doing?”
“He‟s been great, not that there was anything he could do in the
hospital. But he didn‟t leave me alone,” Zane said. “Was there when I
woke up, sat with me there, got the doctors to let me leave, and got me
home. All that aside, I really don‟t know what to do with myself. In
theory? It‟s temporary. I could wake up tomorrow just fine. Or it could
be permanent. Not one doctor of five could tell me anything more than
„We
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