Cutler 01 - Dawn

my teeth coming down on my lower lip. "And you are not without attractive feminine characteristics, the sort most men find irresistible," she added disdainfully. "Therefore," she concluded, "most of the responsibility for proper behavior will depend on you."
    "We've done nothing wrong," I insisted, now unable to keep the tears that burned behind my eyelids from emerging.
    "And that's the way I want to keep it," she replied, nodding. "I am forbidding you from this day forward to spend any time alone with him, do you hear? You are not to go into any hotel rooms by yourselves or invite him into your room without a third party present."
    "That's not fair. We're being punished when we haven't done anything wrong."
    "It's for preventative purposes," she said and in a little more reasonable tone added, "until you are both able to conduct yourselves more like a normal brother and sister. You must keep in mind how unusual the circumstances have been and are. I know what's best."
    "You know what's best? Why do you know what's best for everyone else? You can't tell everyone how to live, how to act, even when to speak to each other," I stormed, my anger now rising like an awakened giant. "I won't listen to you."
    "You will only make things more difficult for yourself and for Philip," she threatened.
    I gazed about the room frantically and wondered where were my mother and my father? Why wasn't at least my father here to participate in this discussion?
    Were they merely puppets? Did my grandmother pull their strings and run their lives, too?
    "Now, then," she said, shifting herself in the seat and shifting her tone of voice as if the issue had been settled, "I have given you sufficient time to adjust yourself to your new surroundings and your new responsibilities, yet you persist in hanging on to some of your old ways."
    "What old ways?"
    She leaned forward and uncovered something on her desk.
    "That silly name, for one," she said. "You have succeeded in confusing my staff. This nonsense has got to end. Most girls who had lived the kind of hand to mouth existence you were forced to live would be more than grateful for all you have now. I want to see some signs of that gratitude. One way you can do that is to wear this on your uniform; it's something most of my staff does anyway."
    "What is it?" I leaned forward, and she turned the nameplate toward me. It was a tiny brass plaque with EUGENIA written boldly in black. Instantly my heart became a thumping heavy lead drum in my chest. My cheeks became so inflamed, it felt as if my skin were on fire. All I could think was that she was trying to brand me, to make me a conquest, a possession, to prove to everyone in the hotel that she would have her way whenever she wanted.
    "I'll never wear that," I said defiantly. "I'd rather be sent to live with some foster family."
    She shook her head and pulled the corners of her mouth in as if I were some pitiful creature.
    "You'll wear it; you won't go live with any foster family, though goodness knows, I would gladly send you if I thought that would end the turmoil.
    "I was hoping that by now you had seen that this is your life and that you should live according to the rules set down for you. I was hoping that in time you would somehow fit in here and become part of this distinguished family. Because of your squalid background and upbringing, I see now that you will not fit in as quickly as I'd wished—particularly since despite some qualities and talents to recommend you, you cling to your wild and unrefined ways."
    "I'll never change my name," I said resolutely. She glared at me and nodded.
    "Very well. You are to return to your room and remain there until you change your mind and agree to put this nameplate on your uniform. Until then you will not report to work and you will not go to the kitchen to eat. No one will bring you anything to eat, either."
    "My father and mother won't let you do this," I said. That made her smile. "They won't!" I cried through my tears. "They like me; they want us to be a family," I bawled. The hot drops streaked down my face.
    "Of course we will be a family; we are a family, a distinguished family, but in order for you to become part of it, you must cast off your disgraceful past.
    "Now, after you put on your nameplate and accept your birthright—"
    "I won't." I ground the tears out of my eyes with my fists and shook my head. "I won't," I whispered. She ignored me.
    "After you put on your nameplate," she