Cutler 02 - Secrets of the Morning

too soon. There were so many terrible things going on here. I was in the nursery and I saw this doll in the crib and then she came in behind me all in a rage, so I ran and I fell and . . ."
    "Easy," Jimmy said, stroking my matted hair. "You will have plenty of time to tell me all of it. You're not making sense right now. You're too distraught."
    "Distraught? Yes, yes." I touched my own face. "I must look so horrible to you. I haven't had a hair brush for months and these clothes . . ."
    I tried to stand, but I got so dizzy, I fell back into Jimmy's arms.
    "Whatever she gave me still hasn't worn off completely," I explained.
    "Let me help you up and take you somewhere to lay down for a few minutes. Then, we'll get to the bottom of all this," he said with definite authority.
    Gazing into his dark eyes, I saw how strong and mature he had become. Jimmy was a full-grown man now. His shoulders were broad, his face firm. I had always felt safer in his arms or with him near me, but now I truly believed he could take charge and do what had to be done.
    He lifted me to my feet as if I weighed no more than a baby.
    "Just take me right down here where she kept me, Jimmy. It's the closet bed. But as soon as I catch my breath, I want to find out what happened to the baby and . . ."
    "We will," he said, guiding me along. "Easy. No one is going to hurt you ever again," he promised with assurance.
    "Oh, Jimmy. Thank God you're here." I rested my head against his strong shoulder and started to sob.
    "Don't cry. I'll take care of you now," he whispered and kissed my hair and my forehead.
    When he set eyes on my excuse for a room, he gasped.
    "It's like a closet," he said. "No windows, no fresh air. Just a little oil lamp for light! And it smells so stuffy and sour in here."
    "I know, but I just need a short rest."
    After he helped me lie down, he went into the bathroom to get a wet washcloth to wash down my face and place on my forehead. "I haven't seen hovels worse than this anywhere in Europe," he muttered as he wiped my cheeks. "Solitary confinement in a military prison must be a palace compared to this."
    He put the cool cloth over my forehead, sat down beside me on the bed and held my hand.
    "Jimmy," I said, squeezing his fingers tightly in mine. "Are you here, are you really, really here?"
    "I'm here and I don't intend leaving you for long again," he promised. He leaned over and kissed me softly on the lips. I smiled. Now that I felt safe, I permitted my eyes to close and took a short and much-needed rest.
     
    I didn't sleep long and Jimmy never left the room the entire time. When my eyes first fluttered open, I panicked because I didn't see him immediately and thought that what had happened had all been only a dream. But as soon as he saw I was awake, he was at my side again. He kissed me and embraced me.
    "Feeling strong enough to walk out of here?" he asked.
    "Yes, Jimmy, but not without knowing what happened to my baby," I said.
    "Of course. I can't believe what they've done to you," he said, brushing back some loose strands of my hair. "I want to know every detail."
    "I'll tell you all of it, Jimmy—the terrible chores she made me do, how I had to sleep in the cold, the meager meals, the prayer sessions—she's a religious fanatic who treated me as if I were the devil's child. And I'm sure Grandmother Cutler knew exactly what would happen to me when she sent me here. But I want to find my baby first."
    He nodded, the lines of his mouth tightening and that all too familiar glint of anger coming into his dark eyes.
    "Let's go," he said in a tone of command. "I don't want us to spend one moment longer than we have to in this hell hole of a place."
    He helped me to my feet. I felt stronger and my head was a great deal clearer. We walked out of the room that had been my pathetic home for so many months. Oddly enough, I had grown used to every nook and cranny in it. It was like a deprived child itself, abused, forgotten and buried in the darkness and horror of The Meadows.
    As soon as we descended the stairway, I knew where Miss Emily was. The light was on in the library.
    "She's hoping we'll just leave," I said. "She wants to ignore us, ignore all that she has done."
    Jimmy nodded, his eyes fixed firmly on the library doorway. I took his hand into mine and we walked quickly to it.
    Miss Emily was in her usual place, seated behind the great desk under her father's portrait, only this time, she didn't seem as intimidating to me,