Cutler 02 - Secrets of the Morning

lying beside each other in our pull-out sofa and whispering deep into the night. I lay back and looked up at the ceiling.
    "Shortly after I was born, I was kidnapped," I began and told her my story.
     
    For the longest time, Trisha didn't ask a question, didn't say a word. After a while she lay back in bed and folded her arms across her chest and listened. I think she was afraid to interrupt because she thought I might stop talking. After I told her all about Momma and Daddy Longchamp, Fern and Jimmy, and described how life was for us, I quickly skipped to my return to Cutler's Cove. I was too ashamed to tell her about my short romance with Philip when I was attending Emerson Peabody in Richmond and what had happened between us at the hotel afterward.
    "Clara Sue sounds horrible," Trisha finally said. "What a mean thing to do to Jimmy."
    "If I never see her again, it will be too soon," I replied. Trisha was quiet for a long moment and then she sat up and turned to me.
    "When you came out of the bathroom after Arthur had walked in on you, you said it had brought back bad memories. What bad memories? Something else at the hotel?" she asked perceptively.
    "I was almost raped when I took a shower," I said, deciding to make something up. "By a hotel handyman."
    "Oh, that's awful. What did you do?"
    "I fought him off and he ran away. The police are still looking for him." I turned away so Trisha couldn't see the lie in my eyes. All of a sudden, chills went up and down my spine and I was almost dizzy with fear over how she would react to my story. What had I done? New York was my one and only chance for a new life where no one knew about the strangeness of my past. Why had I confided these things that should be buried ten feet underground and never seen again? With my heart going as fast as a speeding train, I looked at Trisha, terrified that I might see loathing in her eyes.
    "You're so lucky!" she suddenly exclaimed.
    "What?" Had I heard right? "Lucky?"
    "You've had such an exciting life and nothing ever happens to me," she moaned. "I went to just one plain old public school in a small town, had only one real boyfriend, and hardly ever went anywhere. Oh, we've been to Palm Beach in Florida dozens of times, but that's no fun for me. I'm always trapped in some stuffy hotel and forced to dress and behave perfectly because so many rich and important people are always staring at each other and especially each other's children. If I have a hair out of place, my mother gets hysterical. We get our manners out of Emily Post. I can't even put an elbow on the table!"
    She jumped over to my bed and sprawled out beside me on her stomach.
    "But when I become a famous dancer, I'm going to be outrageous," she declared firmly. "I'm going to dress wildly, have dozens and dozens of glamorous boyfriends, all with shady reputations, smoke cigarettes in long pearl cigarette holders and be seen in elegant places. Wherever I go there will be reporters snapping pictures. And I won't get married until I'm . . . I'm almost thirty! And it will be someone so rich, his name will open doors and make people scurry about like wild rabbits. Doesn't that sound exciting?" she asked me.
    "Yes," I said not to hurt her feelings, but deep inside I was torn apart by my desires. I wanted to become a great singer, and I wanted to taste fame and experience the world—there was so much out there that I'd never seen or done. But, if I opened my secret heart and looked inside I knew I'd see my strongest hope. I wanted to have a family and love and cherish my children so they would never feel the way I did now. I couldn't wish that on anyone.
    Trisha turned over on her back. "Does Agnes know all this stuff that happened to you?"
    "She doesn't know anything but whatever lies Grandmother Cutler wrote her in that letter. I don't even know what the letter said—I'd love to get my hands on it."
    "We will," Trisha vowed.
    "How?"
    "When we know Agnes is out for a while and Mrs. Liddy is busy, we'll sneak into her room and search for it."
    "Oh, I don't know if I could ever do that," I said. Just the thought of it made my heart thump.
    "Leave it up to me," Trisha said. "O-o-o-o," she squealed, "this is the most excitement I've had in ages."
    "I'd rather not have any of it," I muttered, but she didn't hear me or care to.
    She made me go back and describe in more detail what it was like to move from one town to another, one school to another. We talked until we both confessed