Dark Angel (Anders Knutas 6)

him a defiant look. His eyes were filled with contempt.
    ‘Neither of you ever asked me about it.’
    The words were so unexpected that Knutas was left speechless. He cast a glance at Lina. She merely shook her head and then hid her face in her hands.
    ‘But we’re always asking you how you are and what’s going on. You never want to tell us anything, but we keep trying—’
    ‘You’re always so busy with your own stuff. You don’t really care how I am or what I have to deal with! You just pretend to take an interest, but the only thing that’s important to you is that fucking cop job of yours!’
    Knutas was shocked. He was utterly unprepared for such an accusation. He’d been naive enough to think that Nils would be remorseful and apologize.
    ‘What do you mean?’
    ‘You don’t care about me. All you ever talk about is yourself and your sodding investigations, and I don’t give a shit about them. Why should I tell you anything? You pretend to care about me and Petra, but the only effort you ever make is to drag us along once in a while to do something you think is fun. Like when we went to the golf course. We just went along for your sake, even though you acted like you were the best father in the world who was doing something really great for his kids.’
    Knutas felt his cheeks flush with indignation, but he forced himself to remain calm.
    ‘I think you have to agree that you’re being unfair. OK, I admit that there are times when I talk a lot about my work, but that’s only when I’m in the middle of an important case. And that’s not really surprising, is it? And think about all the fun things we’ve done together over the years. You don’t really think it was all for my sake, do you? All those excursions we’ve taken you on, ever since you and your sister were kids? I can’t even count how many times we’ve been to Kneippbyn and Vattenland. We’ve gone to Legoland and to the Astrid Lindgren theme park, and I’ve even gone riding on Iceland horses with you and Petra – and you know how scared I am of horses. Have you really forgotten all those things? I think you ought to show a little gratitude once in a while and not be so bloody sullen and selfish all the time. Your mother and I are doing the best we can!’
    Nils stared at his hands, not once looking at his father. He said in a low voice: ‘It’s not Mamma that I’m mad at. She has always come through for us. Unlike you.’
    Knutas looked at his son in bewilderment. He couldn’t believe his ears. He swallowed hard. No one else spoke as he searched for words.
    ‘I really don’t understand what you mean, Nils. I never come through for you? How can you say that?’
    ‘OK, maybe once in a while. And more often when we were little kids. But nowadays you never have time.’
    Knutas leaned back on the sofa. The room began slowly spinning around. He took several deep breaths, blinked away a tear. Lina was silent, her face still buried in her hands.
    This conversation with Nils wasn’t going to end with the family reconciliation that he had hoped for. He was shaken to the core by his son’s scorn.
    ‘But why didn’t you say anything?’ he ventured. ‘Why didn’t you tell us that you were there?’
    ‘Because I didn’t want to.’
    ‘Didn’t want to? Don’t you realize how serious this is? You’re a witness, for chrissake!’
    ‘Take it easy,’ Lina protested. ‘You’ve been a police officer for seventeen years, Anders. You, of all people, should understand how hard it can be for someone to admit that he saw something but either couldn’t or didn’t dare intervene.’
    Nils glared at his father.
    ‘You’ve just made it horribly clear that the only thing you care about is your job.
You’re a witness, for chrissake
!’ he said, his voice filled with resentment as he repeated his father’s words. ‘You don’t give a fuck how I feel, or how I’m doing after watching those pricks beat the shit out of Alexander.’
    Nils’s face was rigid with anger, and his eyes flashed as he looked at Knutas.
    ‘Why should I tell you anything? Give me one good reason!’
    He leaped up and ran out of the room.
    A few seconds later the front door slammed.

IN SPITE OF the long workday, Johan didn’t feel tired, and he had no desire to go home to the empty house in Roma. Emma had gone with Elin to visit her parents on the island of Fårö. They were sitting in front of the fireplace drinking Irish coffee when he phoned. Emma