Dear Life

trafficking. Stupid. It was the man she went and married that got her into it. So now it was necessary to sell cosmetics as well as look after the daughter’s two young children, who had nobody else.
    All the time she was telling me this she seemed in high good humor. It was when she got onto the subject of another quite successful daughter, a registered nurse who was retired and living in Vancouver, that she became dubious and a little fretful.
    This daughter wanted her mother to ditch the whole lot of them and come and live with her.
    “But I don’t like Vancouver. Everybody else does, I know. Just don’t like it.”
    No. The trouble was, really, if she went to live with that daughter, she would have to quit smoking. It wasn’t Vancouver, it was the giving up smoking.
    I paid for some lotion that would restore my youth and she promised to drop it off next time she came around.
    I told Franklin all about her. Gwen, her name was.
    “It’s another world. I rather enjoyed it,” I said. Then I didn’t quite like myself for saying that.
    He said that maybe I needed to get out more, and should put my name in for some supply teaching.
    When she came by soon with the lotion, I was surprised. After all I had already paid. She didn’t even try to sell me anything more, which seemed almost a relief to her, not a tactic. I made coffee again, and we talked easily, even in a rush, as before. I gave her the copy of
Wild Geese
that I had been using to write about Martha Ostenso. I said she could keep it, because I would be getting another one when the series came out.
    She said she would read it. No matter what. She didn’t know when she had ever read a book through because of being so busy, but this time she promised.
    She said she had never met a person like me, that was so educated and so easy. I felt a little flattered, yet cautious at the same time, as you feel when you realize that some student has a crush on you. Then there was embarrassment, as if I had no right to be so superior.
    It was dark when she went out to start her car, and she couldn’t get it going. She tried again and again and the engine made a willing noise, then stopped. When Franklin came into the yard and couldn’t get past it I hurried to tell him the trouble. She got out of the driver’s seat when she saw him coming, and began to explain, saying it had been acting up on her like the devil lately.
    He tried to get it going, while we stood by his truck, out of the way. He couldn’t manage it either. He went inside to call the garage in the village. She didn’t want to go in again, though it was cold out. The presence of the man ofthe house seemed to have made her reticent. I waited with her. He came to the door to call to us that the garage was closed.
    There was nothing to do then but ask her to stay for supper, and overnight. She was immensely apologetic, then more comfortable, once she got sitting down with a new cigarette. I started taking things out for the meal. Franklin was off changing his clothes. I asked her if she wanted to phone whoever was at her house.
    She said, yes, she better.
    I was thinking that she might have somebody there who could come take her home. I wasn’t looking forward to talking all evening with Franklin sitting listening. Of course he could go to his own room—he wouldn’t call it his study—but I would feel that this banishment was my fault. Also we would want to watch the news, and she would want to talk through it. Even my brightest women friends did that, and he hated it.
    Or she might sit quiet and strangely bewildered. Just as bad.
    There seemed to be nobody answering. So she called the people next door—that was where the children were—and there was a great deal of apologetic laughing, then a talk with the children to urge them to be good, then more assurances and heartfelt thanks to the people who would be keeping them. Though it turned out that those friends had somewhere to go tomorrow so that the children would have to go with them, and it was really not so handy after all.
    Franklin was coming back into the kitchen just as she hung up the phone. She turned to me and said that they might have made up stuff about going out, that was whatthey were like. Never mind all the favors she had done for them when they needed it.
    Both she and Franklin then were struck at the same time.
    “Oh my Lord,” said Gwen.
    “No it isn’t,” said Franklin. “It’s just me.”
    And they stood halted in