Deathstalker 07 - Deathstalker Return

behind Rose, and peered over her shoulder.
    "Hail to you, Sir Deathstalker," said the spider-thing, indistinctly. "Call me Guide. It is an honor to serve you. Don't let the legs put you off. I think that's why Shub gave them to me. They were always great ones for psychological warfare. I still have human thoughts, though I am plagued by insect instincts. So I'd advise you all to look the other way when it's feeding time. I was human once. I was a crewman on an
    Imperial starcruiser, ambushed by a Shub ship. Most of us had the sense to die fighting, but I was captured. I can't remember the ship's name anymore, or where we came from. Most of my history is lost to me. It was all so very long ago… There is a calendar here, carved on a tree, maintained from the first day we were abandoned here, but we have no way of knowing how reliable it is.
    "Shub did this to me, just because it could. I have never forgiven them. They can take their creed and shove it. They may have fooled everyone else with their great awakening, but I know better. They're just biding their time till they're strong enough to destroy all organic life and replace it with their own metal kind. All that's kept me alive this long is dreams of revenge and retribution."
    "He's a bit chatty for a spider, isn't he?" said Brett.
    "You get used to him," said the albino. "He'll get you to the castle, Sir Deathstalker."
    And then they all looked around as Saturday came back to join them, smiling happily. Brett sniggered.
    "You weren't gone long. What happened, did you get overexcited?"
    "It was all perfectly splendid," said the reptiloid. "Sex is a swift and marvelously intense thing on my world—mainly because if it wasn't, something would come along and kill you while you were both preoccupied and vulnerable. Ah, the joys of lust and procreation! I found it all very satisfying, and I'm sure she'll recover soon."
    There was a pause, and then Lewis said, "Saturday, what have you done?"
    "Did no one ever tell you how reptiloids mate?" said Saturday. "It's really very efficient. I thrust the penis in, and after I've orgasmed it breaks off and remains embedded in the female's body. It works its way in, and when it's reached a suitable spot, barbs emerge to hold it in place. It then fertilizes all the eggs the female has, and continues to do so for as long as the penis remains embedded. When I've had a female she stays had. Reptiloids can breed with anything, you know. And mostly we do."
    "That is the most disgusting thing I've ever heard," said Jesamine. And I've been around."
    "Luckily we're all hermaphrodites on Shard," said the reptiloid. Male and female in one perfect killing-machine body."
    "You mean… you're female now?" said Brett.
    "Until it grows back, yes," said Saturday.
    Brett sniffed. "You're not going to start having mood swings, are you?"
    "How could we tell?" said Jesamine. "Still, I suppose if we can get used to Rose, we can get used to anything."
    "I have no idea what you're talking about," Rose said calmly.
    "I know," growled Jesamine. "That's the problem."
    "I really think we should all leave for the Standing as soon as possible," said Lewis. "If that's all right with you, Sir Guide?"
    "Of course," said the spider-thing, stamping his many feet in enthusiasm. "Word has already spread through the local population. Nothing will trouble us on our journey. We should be there in under an hour."
    In the end, it didn't take even that long. They strolled through the jungle, following a wide path the monsters had carved out over the years, and nothing bothered them except the ever-present insects. All along the way, distressing large and dangerous-looking creatures watched ominously from the jungle shadows, but kept their distance. Guide led the way, what remained of his human body dangling between his eight huge spider legs as they stabbed surefootedly through the thick undergrowth. Jesamine kept as much distance between herself and Guide as she could without seeming actually rude. She'd never liked spiders. Lewis strolled along beside the creature, chatting easily, but then that was Lewis for you. Brett and Rose followed after, both of them constantly watching the surrounding jungle suspiciously. Saturday wandered happily along in the rear, snapping insects out of the air. Good sex always made her hungry.
    When they finally reached the sight of the downed Standing, it was actually rather disappointing. There wasn't much to see. It was just another