Definitely Dead

everyone in the world had known Bubba’s face and smile. When he’d been wheeled into the morgue in Memphis, a vampire attendant had detected the tiniest flicker of life. Since the attendant was a huge fan, he had taken on the responsibility for bringing the singer over, and a legend had been born. Unfortunately, Bubba’s body had been so saturated with drugs and physical woes that the conversion hadn’t been entirely successful, and the vampire world passed Bubba around like the public relations nightmare he was.
    “How long have you been here, Bubba?” I asked.
    “Oh, a couple of weeks, but I like it real well,” he said. “Lots of stray cats.”
    “Right,” I said, trying not to think about that too graphically. I really like cats. So did Bubba, but not in the same way.
    “If a human catches a glimpse of him, they think he’s an impersonator,” Chester said quietly. Melanie had gone back to her post, and Chester, who’d been a sandy-haired kid from the backwoods with poor dentition when he was taken, was now in charge of me. “That’s fine, most often. But every so now and then, they call him by his used-to-be name. Or they ask him to sing.”
    Bubba very seldom sang these days, though every now and then he could be coaxed into belting out a familiar song or two. That was a memorable occasion. Most often, though, he denied he could sing a note, and he usually got very agitated when he was called by his original name.
    He trailed along after us as Chester led me further into the building. We had turned, and gone up a floor, encountering more and more vampires—and a few humans—heading here or there with a purposeful air. It was like any busy office building, any weekday, except the workers were vampires and the sky outside was as dark as the New Orleans sky ever got. As we walked, I noticed that some vampires seemed more at ease than others. I observed that the wary vamps were all wearing the same pins attached to their collars, pins in the shape of the state of Arkansas. These vamps must be part of the entourage of the queen’s husband, Peter Threadgill. When one of the Louisiana vampires bumped into an Arkansas vampire, the Arkansan snarled and for a second I thought there would be a fight in the corridor over a slight accident.
    Jeesh, I’d be glad to get out of here. The atmosphere was tense.
    Chester stopped before a door that didn’t look any different from all the other closed doors, except for the two whacking big vampires outside it. The two must have been considered giants in their day, since they stood perhaps six foot three. They looked like brothers, but maybe it was just their size and mien, and the color of their chestnut hair, that sparked the comparison: big as boulders, bearded, with pony-tails that trailed down their backs, the two looked like prime meat for the pro wrestling circuit. One had a huge scar across his face, acquired before death, of course. The other had had some skin disease in his original life. They weren’t just display items; they were absolutely lethal.
    (By the way, some promoter had had the idea for a vampire wrestling circuit a couple of years before, but it went down in flames immediately. At the first match, one vamp had ripped another’s arm off, on live TV. Vamps don’t get the concept of exhibition fighting.)
    These two vampires were hung with knives, and each had an ax in his belt. I guess they figured if someone had penetrated this far, guns weren’t going to make a difference. Plus their own bodies were weapons.
    “Bert, Bert,” Chester said, nodding to each one in turn. “This here’s the Stackhouse woman; the queen wants to see her.”
    He turned and walked away, leaving me with the queen’s bodyguards.
    Screaming didn’t seem like a good idea, so I said, “I can’t believe you both have the same name. Surely he made a mistake?”
    Two pairs of brown eyes focused on me intently. “I am Sigebert,” the scarred one said, with a heavy accent I couldn’t identify. He said his name as See-ya-bairt. Chester was using a very Americanized version of what must be a very old name. “Dis my brodder, Wybert.”
    This is my brother, Way-bairt? “Hello,” I said, trying not to twitch. “I’m Sookie Stackhouse.”
    They seemed unimpressed. Just then, one of the pinned vampires squeezed past, casting a look of scarcely veiled contempt at the brothers, and the atmosphere in the corridor became lethal. Sigebert and Wybert watched the vamp,