Der Schädelring: Thriller (German Edition)

into your life?"
    Julia exploded from the chair and strode to the window. She paced back and forth, rubbing her upper arms. She was panting, wired from worry yet nearly exhausted at the same time.
    Dr. Forrest came to her, put a hand on her shoulder. "It's okay, Julia. I know how much it hurts you to face it. If I thought there was another way to beat it, I'd try it. But you've refused Klonopin and Prozac and–"
    "No drugs," Julia said. "I want to beat it with my own head."
    "I know, Julia. But we all need help from time to time. At least you're letting me help you." She led Julia back to the chair. "Let's try something different. We've come far enough that I think you're ready for the next stage."
    Julia sat meekly and Dr. Forrest leaned the chair back, crossed the room, and lowered the lights. The sky was still overcast, the room nearly dark. Julia closed her eyes and waited for Dr. Forrest's instructions.
    "Let's go back," the therapist said.
    "I don't want to," said Julia.
    "But that's where the problem started, Julia. Everything else, all your troubles, your fears, were born there. Your body knows it, your subconscious knows it. All the rest of you is waiting for you to admit it."
    Julia swallowed hard and licked her lips. Darkness. She opened her eyes. Darkness.
    "Look up at the ceiling, Julia."
    Julia obeyed, but couldn't see the ceiling.
    Dr. Forrest's tone softened, but her words kept their even pace. "Look past the ceiling, Julia."
    Julia looked. More darkness, a deeper black.
    "Look beyond that, Julia. And while you're looking, let your arms and legs relax. Your limbs are like large helium balloons, very light, very relaxed."
    Julia floated on that image. For the first time since waking that morning, she felt completely at ease.
    Dr. Forrest's soothing voice came from somewhere near her. "Very peaceful, very light. You trust me, don't you, Julia?"
    "Yes," she heard herself whispering. It was almost someone else's voice.
    "You're free now, Julia. Nothing can hurt you. I won't let anything hurt you."
    Julia smiled. Her face felt like a mask of warm taffy.
    "You really have to trust me now. We're going to go back. Way back into the past."
    Julia mumbled a protest.
    Dr. Forrest took her hand. "Shhh. It's okay. This time, I'll be with you. We'll go back together. I won't let anybody hurt you."
    Julia waited, looking beyond with eyes closed.
    "I won't let him hurt you," Dr. Forrest said.
    Julia nodded. A few moments more, looking beyond blackness, and she was small again. Four. In her room. Chester Bear against her shoulder. In the middle of the night. Darkness. Darkness. Except . . .
    The light spilling through the crack below the door.
    "What do you see?" Dr. Forrest said.
    "Light." Julia’s voice sounded childish even to herself.
    "Where are you?"
    "My bedroom."
    "Which bedroom?"
    "In the house. The big house where Daddy lives."
    "Daddy? How do you know?"
    "I know."
    "What's happening now?"
    "I get out of bed. I hear voices in the other room. Loud. Like somebody's mad. I'm scared ."
    Dr. Forrest squeezed her hand. "I'm with you this time. Go on."
    She went to the door. The floor was cold beneath her bare feet. "I've wet the bed. Daddy doesn't like it when I wet the bed."
    Julia went to the door, listened. "The people are mad at Daddy. I hear them. The bad people."
    "What does your father say, Julia?"
    "I don't know. I can't hear him."
    "What do you think he says?"
    "I don't know."
    "Try harder, Julia. Do it for me."
    Julia listened. A car horn sounded. Had it come from outside the office, or outside her childhood bedroom?
    "No good," she whispered, mouth dry.
    Dr. Forrest was quiet for a moment, still holding Julia's hand. "Let's pretend for a little bit. Can you do that?"
    "Yes," said Julia eagerly, not wanting Dr. Forrest to get mad like the bad people.
    "Let's pretend that the people have come to take your father away."
    "No," Julia cried, trying to sit up. Dr. Forrest held her pinned against the chair.
    "You're at your bedroom door, Julia," Dr. Forrest continued, holding on as Julia thrashed weakly. "You're four years old, and the bad people are in the living room."
    "Bad people," Julia moaned.
    "Open the door."
    "No. Please don't make me."
    "Open the door, Julia."
    Her hand was against the wood, pulling, a mixture of horror and excitement racing through her with every ragged leap of her heart. The light made her eyes hurt and she blinked. The door opened only slightly, but she was afraid the bad people