Devils Roses 01 - Cursed

It’s my fault you went and drank with Giselle, it’s my fault you drank poison, and it’s my fault that everything is the way it is.” he sighed still holding his face, refusing to look at me.
    I closed my mouth and pressed my lips together. I went to speak but chewed my bottom lip instead. I couldn’t comprehend it all. I felt humiliated. I felt my wall come up. I just couldn’t cope with anything else.
    “ Blake, you have been my best friend my whole life. I wasn’t in love with you, like I thought I was. I don’t remember saying that to you, but it makes sense now, why I went and drank with Giselle. I'm sure I was embarrassed. Sort of like I am now. I am sorry I told you that, because I am not sure we can ever come back from the place we are now. It’s not that you handled it badly or that everything is your fault….I don’t feel that way. It's that you lied to me. You acted one way and were another." I would have stood and walked away, but I couldn’t; my legs were stuck.
    He looked up at me and whispered in desperation, “Aimes, can you understand animal lust?” His eyes were broken in a way I had never seen on his face.
    “ I can now.”
    He shook his head. “I’m a fraud and I know it, but for once I want what the other kids have. I want to be part of the ‘in’ crowd…I want to be liked. I’m tired of being that nerd. Your sister is beautiful and I want to have a beautiful girlfriend, for once.”
    His words stung.
    “ I need to go, tell Mr. Milton I was sick, okay?”
    “ You like Shane, even though he dated your sister. Please forgive me, Aimee.”
    I shook my head. "He never lied to me."
    I ran down the hall before he could catch up with me. I ran down the driveway of the school and out onto the road. My side hurt a lot but I kept going. His words burned into my mind. I knew I was smarter and more confident than I was acting. I needed to be away from him.
    I hated my sister so much. I walked to my mom’s spot and sat on the side of the road. I looked at the mark I made in the tree. I clutched my side panting. The pain had grown again. I wondered about going back to the doctor, but I was terrified to go back. I knew he was going to tell me I needed to go to Children’s with Giselle and be on the donor list.
    I looked around me, waiting for the wind to come.
    I didn’t even know what to say to my mom, I just knew I needed her. But her wind was gone. “Mom, please come back. I’m sorry I was gone for so long. Please don’t leave me now.” Everything hurt so much, my heart, my side, and even my head a little.
    “ Aimee?” I turned to see Aleksander walking toward me. He looked concerned.
    I started to cry. “I used to feel her here. She came and wrapped the wind around me. But she’s gone now, I was gone for too long and she left me.”
    He sat on the ground beside me and wrapped his arms around me. His warmth pulled me into him as I sobbed. He rocked me and smoothed my hair whispering, “It’s okay.” It wasn’t awkward in the slightest. It was exactly what I needed.
    I started to feel better, I seemed to relax around him and my body responded to his. He made all of the pains vanish. He was a stranger, but somehow I felt closer to him, than I had any other person in my life.
    "It's going to be okay."
    I shook my head. “It’s not okay, because I’m not ready. I need her still.”
    “ Maybe she went to Heaven, Aimee. Maybe she is with the angels now.”
    I shook my head. “No, she was here for me for eight months and I almost never needed her. In the last month I have needed her more than ever and now she’s gone. Why now?”
    Aleks never answered, he just tried to soothe me while I tried to get my frustrations out. I started to feel better. My chemical response to Aleks stopped my body from noticing my pain everywhere else.
    “ What are some things you need to ask your mom?”
    I thought for a moment. “Why did you leave me?—How will I know how to be a woman without you?—What if I can’t remember what you look like in five years?—What if I forget your smell?—What if I can’t get past this and I ruin the rest of my life?—Did you know you loved Dad from the moment you met him?—Is safe love better than true love or are they the same thing sometimes?—I don’t know what I want to be anymore, I feel like if I choose sciences completely, I will lose the part of me that is you.—Where did you hide the last jar of Grandma’s pickled beets?”
    He