Drake Sisters 06 - Turbulent Sea

to breathe, she scowled at him. 'Why in the world would you think Ilya Prakenskii and Nikitin are lovers?'
    'You are very naive, Joley, in a lot of ways. Prakenskii is a dominant, in every sense of the word, and very sexual.
    He could mesmerize someone, male or female, and keep them tied to him. Nikitin seems under his control, afraid of him, but influenced by him. He obviously won't fire him, you said so yourself. But he doesn't trust him. I saw that with my own eyes. And Nikitin is gay.'
    'How would you know that?'
    There was a small silence that lengthened and grew. Joley slowly put down her teacup and stared at the man she'd known for years. A man she thought of as her best friend. He met her gaze steadily, but she could see the expectance of rejection in his eyes. 'You? Brian, why didn't you ever tell me? How could I not know? Do all the guys know?'
    He shook his head but remained silent.
    Joley looked around for a chair, and when nothing was close by she leaned against the wall. 'Why didn't you say something to me?'
    'I couldn't.'
    She swallowed hard. 'You didn't trust me. You knew I loved you, but you still didn't trust me, Brian. I don't understand. Did you think it would make a difference in how I feel about you?'
    'Right now, I'm just Brian, one of the band, a member of the family, and we all get along and love each other and it's all good. Everyone respects me and comes to me for advice for everything from dating to what to do when they have a problem. In an argument, they all listen to me. What do you think will happen when it comes out I'm gay? I'll be the gay guy who might cry if someone yells at him. Everything will change. My friends will treat me differently, and you can bet the paparazzi will have a field day talking about all of us traveling in the bus together, taking showers, sleeping. They'll speculate on the others, and pretty soon it won't be jokes when we read the tabloids, it will be Brian has to have his own bus because they won't be able to laugh about sleeping with a gay man. They can laugh when the paparazzi claim you're banging all of us, but it won't be so funny if it's them with me.'
    He was right. She could see how it would happen. 'How could you hide this so long and no one know?' She rarely touched him, but she should have had some warning. She'd thought it was just that she felt a lack of sexual attraction toward her.
    'Because the band and the music meant more to me than banging someone. I just dated a few girls and made certain we were photographed a lot, and eventually broke up with them. I went to the parties and looked like I fit in. Staying sober helped. I could think clearly and set the stage when I needed to. Our names were linked all the time and I made certain it stayed that way.'
    'But now? Why are you telling me now?'
    'Because Nikitin knows about me, he knows I'm gay. I fell in love with him. He was like a dream come true for me.
    We'd talk for hours and laugh together. We'd go up to his room and have a cognac and end up in bed. Not at first. At first we just talked, but I couldn't stay away from him, even though I knew I was risking my career. But his risk seemed just as great. He's always with beautiful women. I asked if he was bisexual and he said no, but like me, he needed to keep his image straight. He said it was better for his business. He was perfect. He understood I traveled often; he did, too. He could follow the band on the pretense of loving the music and give extravagant parties and we could be together and no one would be the wiser.'
    It took a few minutes to digest what he was telling her. Everything she'd ever thought or believed about Nikitin was wrong. Everyone thought Nikitin was obsessed with her, but all along it had been with Brian. He'd followed the band because he'd been Brian's lover.
    'How long has this been going on?'
    Brian rubbed his forehead in distress. 'A long time. Over a year.'
    'His security has to know.'
    'You mean Prakenskii. Yeah. I'm pretty certain he knows. Sergei wouldn't discuss him with me. I was so jealous, Joley. So jealous and so stupid. Prakenskii is a very dangerous man. To you. To me. Maybe even to Sergei.'
    Joley went to the window and stared out. People were milling everywhere, but she felt alone and empty and sad.
    Terribly sad. Ilya had known about Brian before she had, and Brian was her best friend. Why hadn't Ilya said anything to her? Loyalty toward his boss? Did he have other motives?
    And Brian. She sighed.