Eversea A Love Story

need to get you a band, Vern,” I said firmly, and everyone nodded. And maybe a boyfriend, but I didn’t voice that out loud. If he wasn’t ready to talk about it, we would all wait patiently.
    I was thankful for Jazz’s intervention in heading off the group outing to Savannah. I wanted everyone else to go though. They would have fun, and the chances of meeting Jack Eversea were slim to none anyway.
    Using that logic, a part of me wanted to say screw it , why shouldn’t I go out and have fun with my friends, especially if I wouldn’t run into Jack? But I knew that the mere proximity and inkling of a chance of bumping into him and Audrey was too much of a risk for my fragile psyche right now.
    “Oh guys, pleeeeease,” begged Liz, her hands clasped together in prayer, her big eyes pleading with us one by one. “Please? I never get to go out. My mom would be totally cool with watching Brady tomorrow night. Please? Please? Pretty please.”
    Jasper cleared his throat. “Um, I’m up for it, Liz, I’ll—”
    “Yes! That’s one. Come on, Jazz and Keri Ann, please?”
    “Sorry. No can do guys.” I shook my head and stood up to head back to work, leaving Jazz to make up her own mind. I hoped Jasper would have the courage to follow through anyway. If it had been any other time, I would have rallied to help him out, but no, not this time. I felt bad, but I couldn’t do it.
    I turned around and bumped straight into the broad chest of my brother.
    “Joey!” I yelped and threw my arms around him.
    Taking a step back under my enthusiasm, he laughed and tucked me in tight for a hug.
    “Hey, kiddo,” he said, kissing my hair.
    I squeezed my eyes shut, hanging on, and suddenly I was not alright. I didn’t care why he was here, just that he was. The dam burst inside me and I pressed my face against him, knowing if I stood back I’d embarrass myself in the middle of the restaurant with a huge, desperate sob.
    Either Jazz saw, or Joey felt my heaving shoulders because I was instantly in the back of the kitchen being held tight in Joey’s arms while huge gasping convulsions wracked my whole body. I couldn’t stop. Jazz stood off to the side rubbing my back soothingly. All at once, I was a small child crying her heart out.
    Somehow they got me home, and as I walked through the door into the house with the newly varnished dark brown floors, I just couldn’t take it anymore.
    “Oh, God, why?” I wept. “Why me? Why did he have to come here?”
    “Shhh. It’s okay, sweetheart,” Joey tried.
    “No, it’s not fucking alright,” I yelled. “I was fine on my own, I was doing fine, I didn’t need this shit. I didn’t ever want to feel this shit.”
    As I looked around the house, a thought suddenly occurred to me. “Nana!” I shouted. “Nana! Can you hear me?” My voice built in hysteria until I was almost screaming, “Nana! Was it you, Nana? Why? WHY? Why him, Nana?”
    My voice broke over my high-pitched wail. I was so angry. “You knew I wouldn’t be able to say no. Why did you do it?” I screamed again, my voice cutting off into a whisper as the last of my vocal chords gave up. I went boneless and sank to the floor at the foot of the stairs, out of the grasping hands of Joey who was trying to cage me into submission.
    And all the things Jack had told me guaranteed that this orphaned girl would take pity on him and fall in love with the poor wounded boy. And, by all accounts he had shared it all with Audrey too, and who knew who else? And what if it wasn’t even real? I wasn’t that special, it was all just fodder for the perfect lay, to make sure I was fully there, heart and soul. Suddenly, I was so terribly sad for the pathetic man who was Jack Eversea—the man who had to use his past to play on the emotions of others and make girls fall in love with him to feel secure.
    I ignored the fact that my feelings had been there before he told me about his childhood. I would work out the why’s there too, just not now. It didn’t fit right now.
    I subsided into staccato gasps and hiccups as the stupidity of how I was acting hit me, and I felt pure and pathetic shame. And tiredness. I was so damn tired. I lay down at the foot of the stairs and closed my eyes.
     

 
    T H I R T Y – T W O
    “My God, you look unbelievable!” Joey stood at the bottom of the stairs as I teetered down. The sound of merriment came from my kitchen. I angled my body to the side as I took each step in the pair of gold