Existence 03 - Ceaseless

already read it.”
    We could pretend I needed the copy of Ethan Frome . “Let’s go get that book,” I replied.
    Pagan nodded and started to walk toward the library . I took her book bag. I hated seeing her carry it around. It looked so heavy on her shoulders. “I got this. Lead the way.” I told her when she looked back at me. She blushed and mumbled a thank you as she headed toward the large stone three - story building that I knew had a very quiet and secluded top floor. I’d checked it out already.
    I opened one of the large double doors and let Pagan walk inside. “Go to the top floor,” I whispered to her and nodded toward the staircase to our left.
    Pagan didn’t argue. She did as instructed and I followed behind her. The view of her cute little bottom in the shorts she had on today was making this idea an even better one. She reached the top floor and glanced back at me. “Where to?”
“There is a study area in the back that is usually empty so we can talk without disturbing anyone ,” I explained.
    No one was back here. If they were I’d been prepared to convince them to leave.
    “Do you have another class today? This was it for me.” Pagan asked as she pulled out a chair and sat down.
    “I’m done for the day too , so no need to hurry,” I replied. I wanted all the time I could get up here alone with her.
    “Okay good,” she smiled and pulled out her literature book and a notebook. “My handwriting can be sloppy when I try to write fast . I’m supposed to be getting a laptop in the mail next week. Mom is sending it to me. Until then I have to scribble everything down.”
    She had to go a week without a laptop. I knew it would be difficult for her. I wanted her to have something to type on. Pagan liked to take thorough notes. She wouldn’t be able to do that with a pen and paper. “I’ve got a lap top I’m not using. You’re welcome to borrow it until yours gets here.”
    Her eyes lit up, “Really? You have an extra?”
    I didn’t own a laptop but I’d go purchase one as soon as I left here . “It’s all yours.”
    “Thank you. You’re a life - saver . That is such a sweet offer. I promise I’ll take care of it.”
    The look on her face made me want to go buy her five lap tops and anything else she wanted.
    “About the concert Friday night,” she began. Please don’t let her be backing out on me now. I wanted her there.
    “ What time do we need to be there? Do you go early and warm up?”
    “Concert starts at eight but we’ll warm up around five. Then we relax and hang out backstage until show time.”
    “Oh, wow. What time should we get there ?”
    I hadn’t been prepared for this question just yet. I’d wanted to ease her into coming to my practice with me , and letting Miranda come with Gee later.
    “Would you be against riding with me to practice and staying the entire evening with me?”
    She didn’t respond right away. I watched as a series of emotions crossed her face. “Um, well. What about Miranda and Gee? Would they be coming early too?”
    I shook my head, “No, they’d come a little later.”
    I wanted her without her posse.
    “Oh,” she replied and bit her bottom lip several times before looking back up at me. “Would it be okay if I just came with them? Miranda is looking forward to this and Gee still makes her nervous. Plus while you’re warming up I’ll be all alone.”
    I tried hard not to let the disappointment show on my face. “That’s fine, Pagan. Whatever makes you feel comfortable. ” Reminding myself that this was going to take time was difficult. I wanted to get back what we had. But to Pagan I was still a guy she’d just met. One she wasn’t sure she trusted.
    “Okay, thank you,” she replied and began pulling more papers out of her book bag. I’d forgotten we were here to catch me up on what I missed in class. “ Like I said, I took notes but I probably took more than necessary. You can look over them and write down the highlights. I’m going to go find a copier and make you a copy of the syllabus. Oh , and I’ll look for the book too.” She stood up and headed for the stairs. I leaned back in my chair and closed my eyes. One day , I’d have her back.

Chapter Nine
    Pagan
    Finding the copier was easier than I’d thought . Finding Ethan Frome was also a breeze. Seven minutes later I was headed back upstairs to the little secluded hideaway with Dank. I had used finding the copier and book as an excuse to get away