Fall Guy

asked.
    „I think about lots of things,“ he said. He leaned forward and pushed the cards away with enough force that some of them went all the way across the table. „What makes you ask?“
    „I don't know, Irwin, but going through his things, I just don't get the impression of a man who would ...“
    „You never heard of surprises, doll? You never had a man you loved insanely walk out on you? You never got slapped by Fate, hit with bad luck, dealt a bad hand?“
    „I have. And Tim had, too. Hell, anyone over five years old has had his share of bad luck.“
    „Some even before they get to be five.“ He was holding his hands apart, as if he were about to catch a ball. „Crap happens. Crap abounds.“
    „And some people seem to be able to function anyway. I remember this old lady I used to visit with Dashiell. We do pet-assisted therapy.“
    He nodded, either because he knew what I was talking about or he didn't but wanted me to get on with it.
    „She was ninety-one and senile. That's why she was living in a home.“
    He raised his eyebrows, tilted his head.
    „An institution. She didn't remember who I was from week to week, but since she was stuck somewhere in her own childhood and she enjoyed my visits, she figured me for a cousin, someone she liked and played with when she was a kid. She called me Viola.“
    „There's a point to this, doll?“
    „Yeah, there is. Even in that shape, the woman ate like a horse. She was in a wheelchair, a tiny little bird of a woman, and she'd pack away her meals like there was no tomorrow. Survival. Some people just have the knack. No matter what hits them from behind, they find a way to go on. I think Tim was one of those people. I'm not saying adversity didn't touch him, didn't hurt him. But he got around it. Or he carried it with him and went forward.“
    „You're saying?“
    What I had come to say to this man should have been obvious by now; it's where the conversation had been heading all along. But since it wasn't and I didn't have all day, I decided to spell it out.
    „I don't think he killed himself,“ I said.
    Irwin blinked. He bent his head and scratched his red hair. Then he looked back at me. „Me neither,“ he said. „I never did.“
    I nodded. Irwin bit his lower lip. For a moment, his eyes looked shinier than usual, not as hard as they often did, even when he was joking.
    „So what's the plan, doll?“
    I shrugged my shoulder, lifted one hand, let it fall back into my lap. „Hey, I'm only the executor. I'm not the cops. I didn't even know the man.“
    „So, what? This is just between you and me?“
    „I just wanted to know I'm not crazy, that's all. But if you think the same thing ...“
    „We could both be crazy, doll. Did that ever occur to you?“
    „It did,“ I said. „That's another possibility.“
    I thought he'd smile then, show me his choppers, make a little joke. But he didn't. He drummed his fingers on the table. Then he pulled over the ashtray and the little dish next to it that was full of matchbooks, picking one of them up, then hesitating. He didn't take out his smokes. He just sat there, turning that book of matches over and over in his hand.
    „It's Parker, right?“
    „Who did it?“
    „Nah.“ He shook his head. „What I'm asking you, is it because of Parker you came to your conclusion?“
    I didn't answer right away and Irwin went on.
    „I'm thinking you figure that if Tim had this mission, this calling, that he'd stick around and keep going. That he wouldn't quit in the middle.“
    I nodded, interested to see where he'd go with this.
    „Yeah, that's what I think, too. Of course, he'd failed with Parker. Parker doesn't believe in the Work ethic.“
    „What does he believe in?“
    „Miracles.“ He tossed the matches back into the little dish, „Parker's hopeless. Well, if not hopeless, he's surely not the best example of Tim's work. There was this guy Harold, two years back. I took my keys back while Harold was living downstairs. That was a piece of work if I ever saw one. But Tim got him squared away, got him a job. It wasn't brain surgery, but it did something for him, for Harold. He changed. It's hard to explain it, what happened to him, but the point is Tim, right? When you get a success, even if the next one doesn't work out, you don't quit. You keep trying to get another success. You know it can be done. You know you can do it. It hooks you.“
    „Random reinforcement,“ I said.
    „Say what,