Forever Too Far

of fruit he had sitting on top of the fridge before walking out to sit in the sunshine. It was breezy but sunny. Similar to the temperature in LA.
         “Abe know you’re on his boat? He don’t strike me as the kind to hook up with barely legal women,” a deep voice asked from behind me. I spun around to see a guy in his mid-twenties standing in the boat docked beside my dad’s. He was shirtless and his jeans hung low on his hips. It was obvious he did manual labor. He was slender but solid. His long brown hair was bleached from the sun and it was in a low ponytail. Several strands were loose. I couldn’t see his eyes because he was wearing aviators.
         “Do you speak?” he asked with a smirk and took a drink from the water bottle in his hand.
         “Yes,” I replied, still slightly startled. I hadn’t been expecting Dad to have neighbors. This was a boat for goodness sake. How many people lived on their boats?
         “Where’s Abe? Or are you crashing?” He was relentless in his questioning.
         “I don’t know. I just woke up and he was gone,” I replied.
         The guy raised one of his eyebrows. “So he does know you’re here?”
         What was he, the damn police? “Abe is my father. He’s very aware that I’m here,” I replied a little more annoyed than I’d meant to.
         A grin broke across his face and he had perfect white teeth. Not what I’d expect from a guy who had hair like his and lived on a boat. “You’re Blaire . Nice to meet you. I’m Captain,” he replied and took another swig from his water bottle.
         “Captain?” I asked before I could stop myself. I knew it sounded rude.
         “Yeah,” he replied.
         “That’s just... it’s an odd name,” I replied.
         He let out a low chuckle. “Not really. I’ve been living on this boat since I was sixteen. That’s ten years now. Reckon if anyone’s a Captain I am.” He shot me a wink then turned and walked back inside his cabin.
         Left alone again , I leaned back in my seat and propped my legs up in front of me on an upside down ten gallon bucket.  My phone began ringing and I debated even looking at it. If it was Rush I was going to want to answer it. Maybe it was time I did. He needed to know where to find me.
         I glanced down and , sure enough, Rush’s name was on my phone screen. I clicked answer and held it to my ear. I wasn’t sure what to say to him. I’d been an emotional mess when I’d run. I needed space and time. Now I was missing him. How could I marry him if I couldn’t even stand by him when he needed me? Was I always going to get this upset when he wasn’t around when I needed him?
         “Blaire? Please, God, tell me you answered this phone,” Rush’s voice was laced with panic. I felt guilty.
         “It’s me,” I replied.
         “Where are you, baby? Please tell me where you are. I swear I won’t ever leave you again. I’m done with dealing with my sister’s shit and being the parent my parents weren’t. I just need you. Please, where are you? I’m at Rosemary and you’re not here.” He was so worried. I’d scared him. My throat tightened and my eyes stung.
         “I’m in Key West with my dad,” I replied.
         “Fuck. Did he come get you from the airport? Are you staying on his boat? Did he feed you?” Rush paused in his many questions and took a deep breath. I could tell he was trying to calm himself down.
         “He did come get me and I’m fine. He had bought some groceries before I got here so I’ve eaten,” I paused and squeezed my eyes tightly shut in order to hold back my tears. I didn’t want to cry. Rush would completely go insane if he heard me crying. “I’m sorry. I was upset and I needed to get away from it all. I needed time to think.”
         “I know you’re upset. You had every fucking right to be upset. You went through a scare without me and I hate myself for it. You should have lef t me. Hell, I would have left me,” he stopped and took a deep breath. “Can I come get you? Please? I need you, Blaire.”
         Would it always be like this? Would I always come second to Nan? Would our baby come second? I knew he believed he was done with her but I knew better. He loved his sister and it would kill him to ignore her when she needed him. I guess what I needed to ask myself was could I live without him?
         No. It was that