Genuine Lies

be. Her baby wasn’t really a baby yet at all. And never would be.
    She saw the doctor’s eyes, those soft, sympathetic eyes over his surgical mask. She reached out for his hand, but couldn’t feel it.
    “Please … I can’t … I want this baby.”
    When she awakened, she was in bed, in one of those pretty rooms with the sun shooting slants of light through the blinds. She saw Travers sitting in the chair beside her. Though Eve made no sound, she was able to reach out.
    “It’s all right,” Travers said, taking her hand. “You stopped them in time.”
    “You had the baby,” Julia whispered.
    “It was Victor’s child, conceived in love. Rare and precious. And, as they wheeled me down that corridor, I realized what had been right for Gloria wasn’t right for me. I’m not sure, if I hadn’t gone through that with her, I’d have been able to make the right choice for myself.”
    “How did you have the child and keep it secret all these years?”
    “Once I made the decision to bring the pregnancy to term,I made plans. I came back to the States, but to New York. I managed to interest some people into casting me in a Broadway play. It took time to find the right script, the right director and cast. And time was what I needed. When I was six months along, and no longer able to conceal my condition easily, I went to Switzerland, to a chateau I had had my lawyers buy. I lived there, with Travers, as Madame Constantine. Essentially, I disappeared for three months. Victor went wild trying to find me, but I lived quietly. At the end of my eighth month, I checked into a private hospital, this time as Ellen Van Dyke. The doctors were concerned. In those days it wasn’t usual for a woman to have her first child at that age.”
    And alone, Julia thought. “Was it difficult, the pregnancy?”
    “Tiring,” Eve answered with a smile. “And difficult, yes, because I wanted Victor with me and couldn’t have him. There were some complications. I didn’t find out until a few years later that this would be my only child. I wouldn’t be able to conceive again.” She shook that aside. “Two weeks before my due date, I went into labor. A relatively short one, I was told, for a first baby. Only ten hours. It felt like ten days.”
    As women were over the pain and fears of childbirth, Julia was able to laugh. “I know. I was thirteen with Brandon. It felt like the rest of my life.” Their eyes met over the flickering candles. “And the baby?”
    “The baby was small, barely six pounds. Beautiful, the most beautiful thing. Pink and perfect, with big wise eyes. They let me hold her for a little while. That life that had grown in me. She slept, and I watched her sleep. I’ve never ached for Victor before or since as much as I did during that single hour of my life.”
    “I know.” She covered Eve’s hand with hers. “I wasn’t in love with Lincoln. Not by the time Brandon was born, but I wanted him there. Needed him there. As wonderful as my parents were through it all, it wasn’t the same. I’m glad you had Travers.”
    “I would have been lost without her.”
    “Can you tell me what happened to the baby?”
    Eve stared down at their joined hands. “I had three weeks left in Switzerland, and then I was to go back and begin rehearsal on
Madam Requests.
I left the hospital and the child, because I felt it was best to sever the contact quickly. Best for me. My lawyers had several applications from prospective adoptive parents, and I screened them myself. I demanded that much control. Julia, I loved that child. I wanted the best for her.”
    “Of course you did. I can only imagine how much you suffered, giving her up.”
    “It was like dying. But I knew she was never going to be my child. My only choice was to make certain she had the best possible start. I chose her parents myself, and over the years, over my lawyers’ disapproval, I had them send me reports on her progress.”
    “Oh, Eve, you could only have prolonged your own pain that way.”
    “No, no.” The denial snapped out, urgent. “It reaffirmed that I’d done the right thing. She was everything I could have hoped. Bright and beautiful, strong, loving. She was much too young when she went through a similar kind of pain.” Eve turned her hand over, gripping Julia’s fingers with hers. “But she never buckled under. I’ve had no right to bring her back into my life. But just as I put her out of it, I’ve had no choice.”
    It wasn’t