Gingerbread Man

them. "What is this place?"
    "It's Reginald D'Voe's house," he said. "You passed out before we made it this far."
    "And he took us in? I didn't think he ever let anyone past the front door unless they'd been invited."
    "I think we were in such sorry shape he probably didn't feel he had a choice."
    She turned toward him. "It's a big house."
    He nodded.
    "So whose idea was it to put us in the same bed together?"
    He shifted restlessly. "Mine. But don't make anything of it, Holly. I wanted to be close, in case the maniac tried again."
    "Oh. Good, I'm glad you're clear on that."
    He studied her eyes for a moment, looked decidedly uncomfortable. "I'm not trying to be mean."
    "So, it's effortless, then?"
    He closed his eyes. "It isn't you, okay?"
    "No? What is it then?"
    He rolled onto his back, his head slamming down on the pillow so hard she half expected feathers to fly out the sides. "It's me. It's my past, my history. Look, I told you, I just don't do relationships, all right? And I damn well don't want some wounded dove looking at me with big green eyes that see me as some kind of hero. 'Cause I'm not. I can't save anyone for you Holly. I can't bring your sister back for you, and I can't save you from your own inner demons. I couldn't save—"
    He stopped there. Broke off so suddenly it startled her, and then he was on his feet, striding across the room. She thought he was heading for the giant fake-fur-covered chaise lounge at first, but he seemed to change his mind, because he paced instead.
    * * *
    "THE PRAGUE KIDS?" she asked. He didn't reply. "I never asked you to save anyone for me."
    "No. You dreamed it, instead."
    "I dreamed you saved Ivy. I didn't dream you pulling me out of the lake, or putting your mouth on mine and breathing into my lungs. I didn't dream you carrying me through the storm, or finding me shelter. I didn't dream you coming to my bed to keep me safe." She shrugged. "So sue me if I see you as slightly heroic."
    He stopped walking.
    "God, you have to know I get what you're feeling, Vince. How the hell can I not get it when I couldn't save my own kid sister?"
    She saw his face, in profile, saw his eyes fall closed in pain so stark she felt it to her bones.
    "Listen, Red, I don't do well with women like you. I know better, but they look at me with their need in their eyes, and I end up making promises I have no chance in hell of keeping."
    She frowned, tilting her head to one side.
    "Sara Prague looked at me like that. Someone stole her babies, and she begged me to tell her I could fix it. And I knew better. I knew better, and yet I did it anyway. I promised her it would be okay. I would make it okay. I'd get her kids back."
    "You were only trying to ease her suffering," she tried, knowing it was lame.
    "And, instead, I heightened it. See, that day in my office, I think she had already begun to accept that she'd lost them. I do. But I had to give her hope, and she latched on to it like a lifeline. My God, if you could have seen that woman's face when I had to tell her..."
    "I still don't see what this has to do with us."
    He glanced at her, barely hearing her, she thought, he was so involved in his own thoughts now. "And the kids. Those kids. But I can't tell you about that. No one should know about that."
    He was pacing faster now, agitated strides across the room, then back again. He paused to look out the window once, but she thought his eyes were only seeing the nightmare he had so recently lived.
    "I made another promise. To myself. I promised I'd get the son of a bitch vile enough to do—what he did. And I can't let myself get sidetracked." He looked back at her. "Not even by you, Red."
    Holly couldn't stay away from him any longer. She climbed out of bed and went to him, but didn't touch him. Just stood close, looking up at him. "I want to catch him, too. So how could I sidetrack you?"
    "Because you have problems, Red, and because deep down I'm fighting hard against the urge to tell you I'll make them better. To step in and try to be the hero you need me to be. I'd fail if I tried. I've been down this road often enough to know that. And what's more, I'd lose sight of the main objective."
    She moved closer, took his hands. "And what else?"
    He swallowed hard. She saw his Adam's apple swell with the motion, and when he turned his eyes away, she thought he would refuse to answer. But instead he said, "If I don't let you need me, I don't risk letting you down the way I did Sara Prague and her