Grime and Punishment

and she lives like it’s a million a month?“
    “Because I don’t get all of mine. I had a trust set up for the kids; half of my share goes straight into it. And Thelma has a lot of other investments as well.“
    “Have you talked to Ted about all this? I think you should. He’s a nice young man. I think he’d understand if you asked him to mail it to you himself.“
    “Dear Ted—all he thinks about is the business and Dixie Lee. But you may be right. I’ll try it. I know he’ll understand, it’s just a question of whether he’ll stand up to Thelma. He’s wonderful at ignoring her, but a confrontation? I don’t know.”
    They sat quietly. Meow came in from the field with a mouse, which she generously tried to give to Willard, who ran for cover under the foundation plantings. Jim finally said, Honey, how are you getting along? Not money, just everything. Have you met any other men?“
    “Good Lord, no! I haven’t even thought about it.“
    “That’s not right, Janey. I know you loved Steve, but he’s gone and you—“
    “Oh, Uncle Jim,“ she interrupted, her voice quavering over his concern. “You don’t understand.“
    “It always seems like that, but I do, Janey. I’ve lost my own wife, remember.”
    Jane looked off into the yard, where next year there was going to be a fine garden. It was a day for revelations.
    “Uncle Jim, haven’t you ever wondered why Steve was out on the road at midnight on the coldest night in February?“
    “A business trip, I guess. There was a suitcase in the car.“
    “Uncle Jim, he was leaving me.”

Eleven

    There was a long silence while he absorbed this. Jane, staring at a nonexistent bank of forsythia bushes, was thinking that if she said this enough times, maybe it would hurt less. The only other person she’d ever told was Shelley, and that was the night of the accident. It had been locked up inside her all this time, and by damn, it did feel good to say it to Uncle Jim. Like taking a pressure cooker off the burner.
    “Janey, I had no idea. I’m sorry.“
    “So was I.“ Now that she’d started, no power on earth could have kept her from telling him the whole ugly thing. “Steve had come home late from the office—or somewhere—that night and told me he was in love with someone else. A married woman who was going to divorce her husband for him. I never even got the chance to weasel out of him who it was.“
    “The bastard,“ Jim said under his breath.
    Jane heard him. “That’s what I thought. When the highway patrolman told me about the accident, all I could think was, the son of a bitch deserved to die. Of course, that feeling passed. Well, sort of passed. Steve’s death was a double whammy. I’d lost him twice in one hour. A lot of women are widowed. A lot are dumped. Few of us get it both in one night.“
    “Janey, why didn’t you tell me things weren’t right between you? Maybe I could have talked to him.“
    “I imagine I would have,“ she said, suspecting this was a lie, “but I didn’t know, Uncle Jim. I honestly didn’t know! I thought everything was fine. It was like being hit in the head with a sledgehammer when he told me. I wasn’t even mad or hurt right at first, just dumbfounded. And—embarrassed. I felt like an absolute fool. I was still pacing around my bedroom, crying and raging and wondering what in hell I was going to tell the kids, and thinking somehow I could get him back, when the police came to the door. Of course, I know now that I couldn’t have gotten him back and I wouldn’t have wanted it that way. I’ve never been much good at forgiveness.“
    “Janey, I’m so awfully sorry.“
    “Well, it has its bright spots, in a grim sort of way. If he’d divorced me, I’d be living in poverty, probably. Divorce settlements aren’t very kind to wives with three kids and no job skills these days. And what do I know how to do? Drive car pools, give birthday parties, bandage scraped knees? Not very useful when it comes to making a living. The mortgage on the house had a life insurance policy that paid it off. By dying before he could get rid of me, Steve left me this house free and clear, and believe me, you’d have to fire-bomb it to get me out!“
    “He really was a bastard.“
    “No, he wasn’t. Only at the last. He was a good husband until he found somebody else. It’s been long enough now that I’m beginning to be able to look back and see that. He always remembered special days and bought