Hater

a few long seconds.
    'Like I said, I managed to get back home after it happened. You know almost before you see them that they haven't changed, don't you? I did what I had to do.'
    I don't know what he means by that. Did he kill her? I quickly decide that it's probably not a good idea to ask. For a moment I think that's the end of the conversation but then Patrick speaks again.
    'Got it all wrong, didn't they?' he says.
    'What?'
    'The papers and the TV and all that,' he explains, 'made us out to be the villains of the piece, didn't they?'
    'To them we are.'
    'Made it out to be us that hated them…'
    'I never hated anyone,' I tell him, 'at least not like they said on the news.'
    In the moonlight I watch as Patrick nods knowingly. He's not stupid. He's spent the last three days thinking about what I've only had a few hours to try and understand.
    'Know what I think?'
    'What?' I reply, yawning.
    'They called us the Haters, because from their perspective all we're doing is attacking and killing. That's how it looked to me before I changed. You agree?'
    'Suppose.'
    'But the fact of the matter is that everybody hates. They're just as bad as we are. They want us dead as much as we want to get rid of them. You can feel the hate coming off them, can't you? Even if they're not capable of showing it like we are or dealing with it like we do, they want us dead. So all we're doing is protecting ourselves. You just know that you have to do it, don't you? You have to kill them before they get to you.'
    'We're as bad as each other then,' I suggest.
    'Maybe. Like I said everybody hates, we're just better at dealing with it than they are. We have to look after ourselves and if it means destroying them, then that's what we have to do.'
    'Problem is they feel exactly the same…'
    'I know. But they're not as physical or aggressive as we are and that's where we have the advantage. They don't move quickly enough. They'll pay the price eventually.'
    'So what is it that's changed?' I ask. 'And why now? Why has this happened to some of us and not others? Why has it happened at all?'
    'Now that's the big question, isn't it? That's the one I can't work out the answer to, and you can bet we won't find any clues in your bloody government brochure either.'
    'But what do you think's caused it?'
    'Don't know. I've come up with about a hundred possible explanations so far,' he chuckles, 'but they're all bullshit!'
    'Is it a disease? Have we caught something?'
    He shakes his head.
    'Maybe we have. The way I look at it there's two possible explanations. Either it is a virus or something like that, or maybe something has happened to everyone. People like you and me have been affected by it, the rest of them haven't changed at all.'
    'Something like what?'
    'I don't know… maybe someone put something in the water? Perhaps the planet's drifted through a cloud of bloody space gas or something! Maybe it's just evolution? Nature taking its course…'
    Patrick chuckles to himself again. The room then becomes silent and the quiet gives me chance to consider what he's just said. He could be right. If this was a virus or disease, surely more people would have been directly affected? Everything is so screwed up tonight that all of his disjointed and unsubstantiated theories sound plausible.
    'So how many people like us do you think there are?' I ask, knowing that he can't do anything other than guess at the answer.
    'No idea,' he replies. 'Last thing I remember hearing they were talking about a small minority of people, and that's what it says in your booklet here. But I think it's bigger than anyone's letting on. Chances are no-one knows how big it is.'
    'And how widespread? Surely this can't just be happening here?'
    'It spread up and down the country quickly enough, didn't it? So if one country's been affected…'
    '…then why not everywhere else?'
    'Exactly.'
    'So where does it end?'
    More silence.
    'Don't know. Don't even know if I want to think about it. We have to keep fighting to stay alive, and you can bet they're going to be doing exactly the same thing. So we can only keep running and keep killing,' he replies, 'because if we don't get them, they'll get us.'

    36

    Patrick has finally shut up. I lie on the cold floor and try to sleep and rest my brain and my body. I can't stop thinking about Ellis. In the morning, I decide, I'll carry on towards Liz's sister's house and look for her there. I just pray that nothing happens before I reach her.
    In