Heil Harris!

you on November 23rd last year?” Heidi demanded.
    “Good lord, I don’t know.”
    Heidi was holding the gun in a highly business-like manner. “Show me your passport.”
    The passport showed that Hayburn hadn’t been in Germany since 1961 so Heidi seemed to lose interest in him. “Guess what those three monkeys are called,” she said to Steed.
    “Bohme, Eisenschiemal, and A. N. Other.”
    “Yes. They are all murderers!”
    Steed realised that Heidi was in a dangerous mood. He said reassuringly he was glad they’d found them. “But first there are some things I wish to know.” Neufeld was still slumped unhappily at the end of the row, preoccupied with a collar bone which he said was broken. Steed lifted up the man’s head.
    “Where is the Nazi loot buried, Dr. Neufeld?”
    “I can’t tell you.”
    Steed shrugged. “I think you ought to tell me. Fraulein Toppler will kill you otherwise.”
    “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
    “Perhaps we can remind you. Last November you murdered the young lady’s father and she has come here with the express intention of revenging him.” He sat languidly in a comfortable armchair. “Colonel Hayburn has come here with the express intention of taking away your treasure. Do you remember? Now: I want you to tell me where it is or Heidi will kill you.”
    “I am not at liberty—”
    A deafening shot stopped his words in mid-sentence and Herr Bohme slumped on to the floor. It was an accurate aim and the man died in seconds.
    Steed raised an eyebrow in surprise. “I think you’d better tell me.”
    “I say, old man,” Hayburn interrupted, “is there any need to kill us all? Neufeld’s the only man in the world who knows where the stuff is hidden.”
    “It’s Neufeld we’re trying to persuade. What’s known as moral persuasion.”
    There was a pause, and then Heidi shot A. N. Other. He screamed, and died messily with blood foaming from a hole in his throat. The gruesome business unnerved Herr Eisenschiemal. He knelt and began pleading as the third shot rang out.
    “If Neufeld is the only man in the world who knows,” said Heidi, “we would solve the whole problem if we killed him.”
    “True,” said Steed, “but—”
    He didn’t finish the sentence. The fourth bullet was tearing through Neufeld’s skull before he had thought of a way to stop Heidi from executing him. Steed took the gun from her hand. “Mission accomplished,” he murmured.
    Hayburn was sitting alone on the chaise longue with perspiration running down his face like rainwater. He was shaking, too frightened even to speak.
    “I think now I shall resign from your secret service,” Heidi said cheerfully. “I can marry a blond skiing champion and have six children. Will you come to my wedding? I’d like you to give the bride away.”
    Steed smiled sadly. That was the trouble with good women in important jobs — they were always leaving to get married. “It will be a great honour. Do you know any skiing champions yet?”
    “Well no. You must look after me for a day or so.” Steed put an arm round her waist. “Let’s go.”
    “What about your English colonel?”
    “Leave him where he is. When he recovers his nerve he’ll cruise back to England. I’ll deal with him then.” He looked at the craven, defeated Hayburn. “What about that spirit, colonel? Are you still trying to bring it out?”
    Steed and Heidi laughed. They left him staring at his knees and went off down the hill. The dark mountain road was beautiful again and the village looked like a toy model below them with its flickering lights reflected in the lake. Steed almost felt like trying to yodel.
    Heidi was trembling slightly now. The reaction against her ordeal was setting in, and she needed to lean on Steed’s square shoulders. He murmured the comforting things about it being a nasty business they were employed in and said that her father would be proud of her. She smiled, pleased that Steed accepted her on equal terms. Her hair waved and tickled his nose again. As they reached the edge of the village Steed wondered when he ought to return to England.
    They had to jump aside as a Mercedes came roaring down the hill behind them. The headlamps were blazing and the car was going too fast. As Steed waved his hand and shouted about crazy foreign drivers a shot rang out. He saw Hayburn’s white face in the car as it swerved violently and then sped on towards Mittenwald. Behind him Heidi had grunted.