Hit List

through the roof.” She frowned. “That’s a pretty extreme thing, killing off your own artists so you can make more money on them. I don’t know much about ethics in the gallery business, but I’d call that pretty low.”
    “Most people would.”
    “On the other hand,” she said, “did you happen to notice what kind of a house we’re in?”
    “Victorian, isn’t it? I don’t know a whole lot about architecture.”
    “I’m talking metaphorically, Keller, and that makes it a glass house, and what do you think we shouldn’t do?”
    “Throw stones?”
    “Especially at our own clients.”
    “I know.”
    “Because they tend to be moral lepers, but what the hell do you expect? Albert Schweitzer never hired a hit man, and neither did the guy in the loincloth, and—“
    “The guy in the loincloth?”
    “They made a movie about him. He was little and he talked funny and at the end he got shot. You know who I mean.”
    “It sounds like Edward G. Robinson in Little Caesar, ” he said, “but are you sure he never hired a hit man? Because it seems to me—“
    “Christ almighty,” she said. “Gandhi, all right? Mahatma Gandhi, from India. Okay?”
    “Whatever you say.”
    “Edward G. Robinson,” she said. “Edward G. Robinson in Little Caesar . When the hell did Edward G. Robinson ever wear a loincloth?”
    “I was wondering about the loincloth.”
    “Jesus, Keller. Where was I?”
    “They never hired a hit man.”
    “Schweitzer and Gandhi. Well, they never did. You don’t have to be a good human being to be a good client. All you have to do is play straight with us and pay what you owe. Which Regis Buell might or might not have done, but how will we ever know?”
    “I really liked Niswander’s paintings, Dot.”
    “Look, I’ll take your word for it he’s the real thing. What the hell, Buell must have thought so himself. That’s what made him worth killing.”
    “It’s not just that he’s good. I responded to his work.”
    “You wanted to hang him on your wall.”
    “Dot, I wanted to climb right up into one of his trees and hide in the branches. A man who can paint something that does that to me, how can I kill him?”
    “We could have resigned the account.”
    “So? Then someone else does it.”
    “At least the blood’s not on your hands.”
    “The man’s just as dead. He’s not going to be painting any more trees. What do I care about blood on my hands?”
    She was silent for a long moment. Then she said, “Look, what’s done is done, and I’m not even going to say you were wrong to do it. What do I know about right and wrong? I’m in the same glass house, Keller. I’m not going to be heaving boulders at you.”
    “But?”
    “But this isn’t the first time one of our clients purchased the agricultural real estate.”
    “Huh? Oh, bought the farm.”
    “Acre by acre.”
    “There was that cutie pie in Iowa, played games with us and tried to screw us out of the final payment.”
    “And the one in Washington, had you convinced your orders came straight from the White House. Forget those two, Keller. They had it coming.”
    “And one other time,” he admitted, “when two clowns each hired us to do the other. And he”—his eyes rose to the ceiling—“said yes to both jobs. What choice did I have? How could I do the job without tagging a client?”
    “The way I remember it, you tagged them both.”
    “All I can say is it seemed like a good idea at the time.”
    “And maybe it was. You know, a lot of people must have had it in for Regis Buell. It’s a shame you couldn’t get one of them to hire you, because this way there was no money in killing him.”
    “No.”
    “In fact,” she said, “his death means we don’t get paid for Niswander. Who’s still alive and well, so why should we?”
    “On the other hand, we got half in front from Buell and he’s not going to ask for it back.”
    “He’s not, and half a loaf is better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. Look at it one way, it was money I should have sent back at the beginning, and now I don’t have to.”
    “And it’s all yours,” he said.
    “How do you figure that?”
    “I screwed up,” he said. “No way I’m entitled to my share. So you keep it all, and you wind up the same as if I did the job and we collected the second payment and split down the middle. You look puzzled, Dot. All of half is half of all.”
    “ ‘All of half is half of all.’ You know who you sound like,