Hogfather

problem?” said the oh god, shifting his grip.
    “It might take too long to explain and you probably don’t know all the words. Around the waist , please.”
    Susan took out Violet’s hourglass and held it up. There was a lot of sand left to run, but she couldn’t be certain that was a good sign.
    All she could be certain of was that the horse of Death could go anywhere.

    The sound of Hex’s quill as it scrabbled across the paper was like a frantic spider trapped in a matchbox.
    Despite his dislike of what was going on, there was a part of Ponder Stibbons that was very, very impressed.
    In the past, when Hex had been recalcitrant about its calculations, when it had got into a mechanical sulk and had started writing things like “+++ Out of Cheese Error +++” and “+++ Redo From Start +++” Ponder had tried to sort things out calmly and logically.
    It had never, ever occurred to him to contemplate hitting Hex with a mallet. But this was, in fact, what Ridcully was threatening to do.
    What was impressive , and also more than a little worrying, was that Hex seemed to understand the concept.
    “Right,” said Ridcully, putting the mallet aside. “Let’s have no more of this ‘Insufficient dates’ business, shall we? There’s boxes of the damn things back in the Great Hall. You can have the lot as far as I’m concerned—”
    “It’s data , not dates,” said Ponder helpfully.
    “What? You mean like…more than dates? Extra sticky?”
    “No, no, data is Hex’s word for…well, facts,” said Ponder.
    “Ridiculous way to behave,” said Ridcully brusquely. “If he’s stumped for an answer, why can’t he write ‘You’ve got me there’ or ‘Damned if I know’ or ‘That’s a bit of a puzzler and no mistake’? All this ‘Insufficient data’ business is just pure contrariness, to my mind. It’s just swank.” He turned back to Hex. “Right, you. Hazard a guess.”
    The quill started to write “+++ Insuff” and then stopped. After quivering for a moment it went down a line and started again.
    +++ This Is Just Calculating Aloud, You Understand +++
    “Fair enough,” said Ridcully.
    +++ The Amount Of Belief In The World Must Be Subject To An Upper Limit +++
    “What an odd question,” said the Dean.
    “Sounds sensible,” said Ridcully. “I suppose people just…believe in stuff. Obviously there’s a limit to what you can believe in. I’ve always said so. So what?”
    +++ Creatures Have Appeared That Were Once Believed In +++
    “Yes. Yes, you could put it like that.”
    +++ They Disappeared Because They Were Not Believed In +++
    “Seems reasonable,” said Ridcully.
    +++ People Were Believing In Something Else—Query? +++
    Ridcully looked at the other wizards. They shrugged.
    “Could be,” he said guardedly. “People can only believe in so many things.”
    +++ It Follows That If A Major Focus Of Belief Is Removed, There Will Be Spare Belief +++
    Ridcully stared at the words.
    “You mean…sloshing around?”
    The big wheel with the ram skulls on it began to turn ponderously. The scurrying ants in the glass tubes took on a new urgency.
    “What’s happening?” said Ridcully, in a loud whisper.
    “I think Hex is looking up the word ‘sloshing,’” said Ponder. “It may be in long-term storage.”
    A large hourglass came down on the spring.
    “What’s that for?” said Ridcully.
    “Er…it shows Hex is working things out.”
    “Oh. And that buzzing noise? Seems to be coming from the other side of the wall.”
    Ponder coughed.
    “That is the long-term storage, Archchancellor.”
    “And how does that work?”
    “Er…well, if you think of memory as a series of little shelves or, or, or holes, Archchancellor, in which you can put things, well, we found a way of making a sort of memory which, er, interfaces neatly with the ants, in fact, but more importantly can expand its size depending on how much we give it to remember and, er, is possibly a bit slow but—”
    “It’s a very loud buzzing,” said the Dean. “Is it going wrong?”
    “No, that shows it’s working,” said Ponder. “It’s, er, beehives.”
    He coughed.
    “Different types of pollen, different thicknesses of honey, placement of the eggs…It’s actually amazing how much information you can store on one honeycomb.”
    He looked at their faces. “And it’s very secure because anyone trying to tamper with it will get stung to death and Adrian believes that when we shut it down in the summer