Homespun Bride

although perhaps it was the turn of the wind. Another storm was on the way, she could smell it brewing in the air. While her aunt and uncle battled good-naturedly, which was not unusual for them, her cousins spilled ahead of her down the steps and into the family sleigh. Their footsteps and chatter, lively and pleasant, counterbalanced the worry she had for her uncle. She wanted to ask Robert to dismount and join them in the sleigh, but it was hard to get a word in edgewise.
    “ Two more horses?” Henrietta sounded stunned. “How many horses will we need to pull our sleigh?”
    “Now, Henrietta, you know I’m trying to start my own ranch.”
    “Yes, but you’re a banker,” Henrietta pointed out. “This is lunacy, Robert.”
    “Our Matilda is old enough to drive. The gray mare is for the girls’ use.”
    “What? For us?” The chatter halted and footsteps herded away from the sleigh, Noelle presumed, where the old mare was tied.
    “What’s her name?” Angelina cried out.
    “She’s sweet!” fourteen-year-old Minnie cooed.
    “She’s really ours?” Matilda’s hand slipped from hers.
    Noelle froze in place on the sidewalk. So, Robert really had taken Thad’s advice. That was a relief, but now she felt, well, grateful toward the man. She didn’t want to feel the hint of gratitude toward the man. A hard knot coiled up in her stomach, and she wished, how she wished, it would stop. Her normally placid emotions were all snarled up ever since Thad had ridden back into her life.
    Without Matilda to guide her, she dared not take a step for fear of falling on a patch of ice. She stood alone, waiting while the family inspected Matilda’s new mare. Why was one ear searching the sounds on the street for Thad? Searching for his confident, steady gait, and for the low rumble of his voice?
    Longing overtook her. Longing for those sweet, carefree days of her youth, for the dizzy happiness she’d felt when Thad had been beauing her, and for the shining future she’d wanted with him. The shining future she could not have now.
    It was all Thad’s doing, she realized. Making her remember her lost dreams. Making her look at memories filled with color and love. He made her realize how dark her life and how alone her future. Because of him, she saw her future so clearly—a future she tried not to look at.
    “Noelle?” Matilda’s touch at her elbow drew her from her thoughts. “Are you all right?”
    “Y-yes.” It took all her strength of will to bury her feelings. She turned in the direction of her cousin’s voice. “No need to worry about me. Do you like your mare?”
    “She’s a darling. Papa promised he’d teach me to drive once the weather turns warmer. I’m so excited. I’ve been waiting to learn to drive for ever so long. Mama still thinks I’m twelve.”
    “She loves you,” Noelle said simply.
    “I know. I’m glad I finally get to learn.” Matilda sounded as if she was glowing. “Oh, I wonder if I’ll be able to drive to Lanna’s wedding. Probably. It will be the first wedding of the year!”
    “Probably, although learning to drive might also mean that you have to fetch your sisters to and from school now and again.”
    “True, but I don’t mind.” Matilda fell silent, and the chatter from the rest of the family remained a background symphony of conversation. “Perhaps there’s a good chance I’ll run into the dressmaker’s nephew while I’m out driving.”
    “That would hardly be proper,” Noelle cautioned, remembering. With all the pieces of her heart, she was remembering her own mistakes. Mistakes she wanted to wipe out of her life like chalk from a blackboard, to rub away every flaw, every wrong choice and every foolish romantic notion. “It’s one thing to admire an available man’s good qualities—but you don’t want to get yourself into trouble, Tilly.”
    “What trouble could I get into?” Matilda said, all innocence, for she’d been gently raised.
    As Noelle had. So innocent, she could not imagine all the consequences of one innocent crush on a nice man. Somehow, Noelle could not separate the feeling that if she’d never fallen in love with Thad, if she’d never strayed from her parents’ expectations for her, if she’d never been so headstrong and determined and stubborn, then her parents would still be alive. And she would still have her sight.
    Right now, she could be sensibly married to a fine, dependable man, and have several children of her own. More