Honored Vow

still have that even if, say, Logan replaced him?”
    “But that’s hardwired into the animal part of him, so that’s not
    logical, it’s primal. Yuri is the strongest after his semel, and as the
    strongest, he protects the mate of his leader. That’s all built into the part of
    Yuri’s brain that has nothing to do with him as a man and everything to do
    with him as a panther.”
    “I guess I don’t separate it because when I’m a panther, which I hate
    being, by the way, I’m not really aware of being a panther. I can’t look at
    the experience through my human eyes like I guess you and Logan can, I
    just become an animal.”
    “Logan can’t.”
    “Logan can’t?” She was surprised. “I thought he could?”
    I shook my head. “When Logan’s a panther, he knows me, and that’s
    as far as his reasoning goes. I mean, just like any other panther, he won’t
    attack a cat he knows or has scented before, but if another cat tried to get
    close to me when he’s in shifted form—he’d tear them to shreds.”
    “Anyone.”
    “Anyone,” I assured her.
    “Jesus.”
    “It’s why there’s a whole laundry list of precautions when dealing
    with a semel and his true-mate that are different if he has mated with a
    yareah.”
    She nodded.

    40

    Mary Calmes

    “But yeah, when he’s in his panther form, Logan isn’t really any
    more cognizant than you are.”
    She let out a deep breath.
    “What?”
    “I—I just thought he was just like you.”
    I shook my head.
    “Then you’re even more amazing.”
    “How so?”
    “Jin, when you shift, you’re still you. When I shift, I’m like a wild
    animal with no ties to anyone. I could kill Markel in that state and not
    even know it.”
    I chuckled. “No, love.”
    “No?” She looked so hopeful, like she had been thinking about this.
    “I wouldn’t hurt him?”
    My smile made her do the same. “Even though you think you’re just
    an animal when you shift, you’re still not.”
    “I’m not?”
    “No. All werepanthers make choices, even in their shifted form. You
    decide to kill or not kill, attack or not, fight or not, run or not. You would
    never hurt Markel because you know his scent; you know him on sight in
    human or cat form.”
    “Really?”
    I nodded.
    “But Logan would kill either me or Markel if we were close to you
    when he’s in his shifted form.”
    “Yes.”
    “I don’t get it.”
    “Semels and reahs mate for life.”
    “Yeah?”
    “Yeah, so the bond is different, it works on levels that a mating with
    a yareah doesn’t, that matings between regular cats don’t.”
    “Then what you’re saying is that if Logan had a yareah for a mate, I
    could be close to her when he’s in shifted form and he wouldn’t have a
    problem with that.”
    “Probably not.”

    Honored Vow

    41

    “But you, because you’re his one true-mate, he’ll go nuts.”
    “Yes.”
    She was taking it all in. “Okay, so back to regular panthers, those
    cats that attacked Logan back when Domin had a tribe; they made that
    conscious choice to try and kill Logan.”
    “Yes.”
    “And Logan forgave them all how?”
    “Because they were following their semel at the time,” I told her.
    “There’s no punishment for loyalty.”
    “And the night you saved me from Markel, that’s almost two years
    ago now, he could have killed me and not even known because he didn’t
    actually know me then.”
    “Markel was a sheseru, so he’s stronger than you, he has more
    control. He was never going to kill you, he was trying to scare you, and he
    knew who you were. The target was Logan, not you.”
    “But let’s say Markel didn’t know me, he’s just out doing his thing
    in his territory and I came along. Would he attack and kill me then?”
    “Even if he never saw you before in his life, it’s still a decision he
    makes to attack you or hurt you. No panther is pure animal; we can’t be.
    Even when the attack is done purposely, panthers still retain their
    humanity.”
    “You lost me.”
    “Well, some semels, before a scheduled fight in the pit, they will
    have their khatyu, their fighters, shift to panther form and stay that way for
    the week before or for however long it is before the challenge.”
    “That makes no sense. You’d think a semel would want their khatyu
    to fight smart and fast, not long and bloody.”
    “You see, you think like a leader and not like a brute.”
    “God!”
    “What’s wrong?”
    “See, I get why Russ hates all this