Hounded

Good. We were beginning to worry. Is all in readiness? «
    I boggled. He behaved like he knew me, but I was positive we’d never met, and absolutely certain that my name wasn’t on my shirt.
    » I certainly hope all is ready, « I said. » Remind me of your name, friend? «
    Suspicion veiled the gnome’s features. His dark eyes narrowed and his mustache quivered. » Tell me who you are first. «
    » You recognized me a moment ago. «
    He twitched his head at my right side, using his nose to point. » You have the tattoos of the Tuatha Dé Danann and I can see this is your true form, « he said, » but I do not think now that you are the one we have been waiting for. «
    My face paled. They were waiting for one of the Tuatha Dé Danann, and those were precisely the Irish gods from whom I was hiding. Originally they were mere Druids, like me, and were bound to the earth—as I am—through their tattoos. At first glance, it would be easy to mistake me for one of them. But which one was coming?
    » No, I am not he, « I admitted. » I am merely passing through and curious why the folk of the earth are walking amongst humans. «
    » Hey, dude, what language is that? « Jeff called. » Russian? You guys Commies or something? « His companions laughed and then offered him congratulatory fist bumps for his rapier wit.
    It was no use explaining to Jeff that the Soviet Union had collapsed decades ago and the Cold War was over, or that Slavic and Germanic languages are completely different. I ignored him and motioned to the gnome that we should move away from San Felipe’s. If Jeff wished to pursue the matter he’d have to leave his beer, and I felt intuitively that he would never do that. The gnome was only too happy to put distance between himself and the loud humans; we shuffled closer to the California Pizza Kitchen, which lay across the walkway.
    » We are here to recover that which was stolen, « the gnome said. » The thief will be here soon. Goibhniu is helping us. «
    The barometer measuring the internal pressure of my paranoia fell abruptly. Goibhniu was an Irish god of smithing and brewing, and he was a decent sort, the last time I’d seen him. But that was in another country, a thousand years gone or more. I had no idea how he’d regard me now, but taking the side of the gnomes was a good sign.
    » What was stolen, may I ask? «
    » Truth for truth, « the gnome said. » Tell me who you are. «
    I clasped my hands together and gave him a short bow. » You are speaking to the last of the Druids. «
    The gnome snorted in disbelief. » The Druids all died centuries ago. «
    » Aye, except for me. You know I speak truth. You recognize my tattoos. Few people can speak the old tongue anymore. « The gnome’s eyes shifted to consider Oberon. » And yes, I converse with my hound. So tell me what was stolen. «
    His shoulders slumped and his mustache puffed out with a resigned exhalation. » We five are all that remains of Clan Rathskeller, « he explained, » the finest brewers of our people. You may have noticed that there are no women amongst us. We are in danger of extinction, and for fifty years we have worked on a kingly gift for the meister of Clan Fruchtbar: the Draught of Unending Strength. This was to be exchanged for five brides, but it was stolen. «
    » By whom? «
    » Kohleherz and some faery. «
    I had no idea who Kohleherz was. But the fact that a faery was involved displeased me no end. I might be able to trust Goibhniu, but I’d never be able to trust a faery. He’d give me up to my enemies among the Tuatha Dé Danann for a flower petal.
    » You say the thieves are coming here? «
    » Any moment now. «
    » Then I should continue my journey, « I said. I’d originally come to the Marketplace to try out the Irish pub near the movie theatre, so it wasn’t technically a lie. But the gnome would be left with the impression that I didn’t live here, should he choose to share with others our visit. » May harmony find you and all of Clan Rathskeller. As I am even more endangered than you are, I would appreciate it if you would keep my presence here a secret. «
    The gnome nodded and turned back to the stage without another word. He didn’t say he’d Facebook me or anything.
    › What was that all about? ‹ Oberon asked.
    We have to hide. I’m going to camouflage you .
    › Okay, but hide from what? ‹
    A god, a faery, and whatever Kohleherz is .
    › Why don’t we just leave? ‹
    Because