Human Sister

music. Just feel it and let yourself go. Don’t think about anything.”
    At first I was annoyed by the loudness of the music and by the people who kept bumping into me, but I tried to concentrate on doing what Liesbeth said. After a couple of minutes, she came closer to me and shouted, “That’s good, but try just to feel it.”
    I half-closed my eyes, trying to eliminate the mass of dancers freeze-framing in my vision. I relaxed, let myself go, and soon a feeling came, as if the music were speaking a language my body understood, rousing it from a deep, childhood sleep and filling it with the wonderfully primal desire to pulse, to dance, with the rhythmic power of the music.
    “Ja!” Liesbeth screamed, throwing loose my hands. “You’ve got it!”
    I felt like a musical instrument resonating in an ocean of sound, and wondered how Michael would respond to being in this club. He’ll never be able to leave his room, I thought, never get a chance. He’ll only be able to experience this in my memories.
    Pushing that negative thought out of my mind, I continued to dance until Liesbeth again took my hands and shouted, “I have to rest a bit.”
    “She learns fast!” Liesbeth announced when we returned to our table.
    “It’s the teacher,” Peer said.
    She playfully slapped Peer’s arm, then said, “Elio, you should dance with her. She’s very good.”
    Elio smiled and began to get up, but Peer said, “Hey, it’s my turn!”
    Elio sat back down. “Sure, go ahead.” His speech was slurred.
    On the way to the dance floor, I put my mouth close to Peer’s ear and asked, “Does Elio drink a lot?”
    “No. I’ve only seen him get drunk once before. But tonight he’s slamming ’em down. He’s moody or something. Probably had another fight with his ma. Or with one of his friends.”
    Peer and I danced a song. He bumped his hips against me a few times, and his butt. I’d enjoyed dancing with Liesbeth more. He asked me to dance another song, but I said I wanted to go back to the table. What I really wanted was to dance with Elio.
    When I returned to the table, however, and asked Elio to dance, he said he was too drunk. The talking and drinking continued for about a half-hour more before Elio complained of feeling sick. Luuk and Peer helped him to the bathroom.
    When they returned, Elio slumped in the chair beside me. He leaned over and wrapped his arms around me but didn’t say a word.
    “We promised his mother we’d leave by midnight,” I said to Luuk. “But how can I get him home? I don’t think he can walk to the bus.”
    “Peer’s got a car,” Luuk said. “We’ll take you home.”

    When Elio and I finally got to his apartment door, I propped him up against the wall and quietly opened the door. With my arm around him, we stumbled across the living room and into his bedroom. I pulled back the covers and sheet of his bed.
    “Do you need to go to the bathroom?” I asked.
    He shook his head no.
    “Try to stand still. I’ll take off your shirt and pants; then you can sleep. You’ll feel better in the morning.”
    I took off his shirt, then unbuckled and unzipped his pants. I was shocked to see that he wasn’t wearing underpants. I hadn’t seen him naked for three years. His penis had grown larger, and it was surrounded by a thick, tangled mass of black pubic hair. Above it, a wispy tendril of fur had crept up toward his navel.
    I felt happy and strangely excited by this sight of his genitals, by their musky scent, and by new stirrings deep down in my belly. I smiled up at him and asked him to sit on the bed so I could remove his pants and socks; then I asked him to lie down so I could cover him. As I pulled up the covers he grabbed my arm and said, “Don’t go. Sleep with me.”
    I quickly took off my clothes. I hesitated at my underpants but decided it would be okay to take them off since he was naked, and then I crawled in beside him. He rolled over, placed his arm across my chest, his head on my shoulder, his leg over my legs. I got goose bumps from the warm, silky feel of his skin. I half-expected to hear him say I was still the best teddy bear in the world, but he quickly fell asleep.
    A few hours later, I woke. It was beginning to get light outside. Elio seemed not to have moved. His breath, always before warm and moist on my chest, now smelled of vomit and beer; and his erection, which pressed against my thigh, was much larger than it had been years before when we’d slept