In Bed With Lord Byron

we’ll see you there.
At the Parrot Wine Bar – get a cab!’ Suddenly I felt guilty, for her voice was concerned rather than angry.
    I turned back to Casanova, suffering a twist of unease. After the fiasco of Lord Byron, the last thing I’d wanted to do was bring another famous historical figure back to the present day.
Oh God, this was all such a mess . . . I ought to have known the time machine would bring nothing but more trouble.
    ‘Look,’ I said to Casanova, ‘I have a hen night to go to.’
    ‘A hen night?’
    ‘It’s an evening – with women only – to celebrate the night before a bride gets married. Not that I’m a fan of the bride in question. But anyway, I have to go, so
it might be better, for your sake, if I took you home.’
    ‘I’m not going back there!’ Casanova cried. ‘And end up in jail again?’
    ‘Well,’ I said, chewing my lip, ‘I could just leave you here.’ I looked at him and he gave me his best boyish glance. ‘Or you could come with me,’ I relented.
‘I mean, look, I don’t mind if you come, but suddenly leaping into 2005 is going to blow your mind, and I just wanted to protect you.’
    Uh-oh. Wrong word. Casanova’s masculinity was severely wounded.
    ‘Protect me? I’ve been in prison for a year. I’ve fought duels! And you think I need protecting? You think I’m shocked by being in the future? One of the reasons that I
was arrested was because of my occult abilities. I want to go out. We both need a drink. And
I
,’ he finished grandly, with a twinkle in his eye, ‘shall protect
you
.’
    ‘Well, come on then,’ I said. I had to admit, a rather wicked little thought was worming into my mind as to how interesting it would be to introduce Casanova to Kerry.
    Then I paused uneasily. ‘But – look – this is kind of embarrassing . . . I’m not saying . . . don’t be offended . . . but I just thought I should make it clear that
I’m out of bounds.’ I giggled nervously. ‘You can’t seduce me, you see.’
    Casanova looked more offended than ever.
    ‘I hadn’t entertained any intention of seducing you.’
    ‘Oh.’ I shrank to the size of a pea. ‘Well then. Let’s go.’
    iii) Taking a gamble
    As for what happened later – well, I blame Casanova entirely. It was his idea that we should hit the casino.
    But first of all came the dreaded hen night.
    On the way there in the taxi, my anxiety began to intensify.
This is silly, Lucy
, I kept telling myself.
You can’t go around collecting historical figures and dragging them into
the present. Just have one very quick drink and then make sure you get back home and into that time machine.
    The Parrot was a very snazzy bar. As we entered, I leaned in to Casanova, curling his arm around me.
    ‘I thought you didn’t want me to seduce you?’ he teased me gently.
    ‘Well the thing is, I kind of wanted to show Kerry that . . .’ I waited for him to protest, but instead he grinned and kissed my temple.
    And, I had to admit, it was worth it all just for the look on Kerry’s face. We entered the bar just as she was arched backwards beneath an ice sculpture, vodka dribbling into her mouth.
Catching sight of us, she spluttered and coughed. For the next five minutes she pretended she hadn’t noticed we were there, chatting with her other girlfriends before sidling over.
    ‘Lucy, you must introduce me to your lovely boyfriend!’ She turned to Casanova, smiling up at him. ‘This is a hen night, you know. You’re not really allowed
here!’
    ‘I can see other men,’ said Casanova, nodding. We turned to see a stripper standing on a table, struggling with his Levis, and Kerry giggled.
    ‘Well I think I can make an exception just for you,’ she cooed. Inwardly I began to seethe. Jesus. First of all she’d stolen the love of my life, and now she was going after my
pretend boyfriend. Still, I thought, if I leave them together, perhaps she’ll be so busy tonight she won’t make it for the wedding tomorrow . . .
    Then, to my surprise, Casanova said, ‘Well, Kerry, we’re just dropping in. I’m afraid we can’t stay. We have another engagement. Have a good time, though.
Behave!’
    When we got outside, I looked at him in confusion.
    ‘I could see you were pretty tense in there,’ he said. ‘I figured we might have more fun on our own.’
    I blinked, struck by how sensitive he had been to pick up on just how I was feeling.
    I wasn’t keen on hanging out for much longer, but Casanova