In the Midst of Life

the room – she refused to leave her mother – and asked how long that would be. I said that Miss Jenner was in theatre and the list was due to finish at 1 p.m. It was then 12 noon. Mrs Doherty was deeply unconscious, breathing noisily and very slowly. Her pulse and blood pressure were very low. I thought,
This is it. She won’t survive this one,
and said to Maggie, ‘We must keep your mother very quiet. I am sure you will want to stay with her.’ She nodded tearfully.
    In the office, Priscilla was looking a bit better. She said that her brother Jamie was on his way and that they would see Miss Jenner together.
    Jamie arrived at about 12.30. Theatre closed slightly ahead of time, and Miss Jenner came straight to the ward, still in her theatreclothes. I accompanied her into Mrs Doherty’s room and Jamie and Priscilla joined us.
    Miss Jenner examined her patient and said exactly what the registrar had said: ‘A second cerebral haemorrhage has occurred.’ She said no more. Maggie sat by the window, crying quietly. Priscilla stood by the door, looking tense. Jamie stared at them both, and said:
    ‘I don’t think any further treatment should be attempted.’
    Maggie sobbed quietly. ‘But she will die, Jamie,’ she said in a tiny voice.
    ‘She will, and it will be for the best.’
    ‘How can you say that? For the best! What a wicked thing to say. Our darling Mummy!’ Her voice was rising.
    The accusation stung. ‘I’m not wicked. I’m being realistic.’
    ‘I hate you. Realistic! At such a time!’
    ‘Don’t create another scene, Maggie,’ interrupted Priscilla.
    ‘You cold fish,’ she shouted. ‘I suppose
you
want Mummy to die also – then you won’t have to come and see her. Is that it?’
    ‘I decline to answer. You are getting hysterical again.’
    ‘I’d rather be hysterical than cold and heartless like you two.’
    Miss Jenner and I looked at one another. This was not the time or the place for a family row. Miss Jenner turned to Maggie and said gently: ‘Your brother is probably right. The time has come to let go, and allow your mother to die in peace.’
    Maggie looked up with unspeakable anguish.
    ‘Let go? She is all I have. She was getting on so well – almost talking to me. I was beginning to understand what she was saying, and she understood every word I said.’
    Maggie sobbed quietly into a wet handkerchief, and Jamie gave her his, and put his arm around her. No one spoke for a moment, and between sobs she continued, ‘I’ve been getting the downstairs room ready for her – it’s all so pretty, just as she would want it.’ She looked up at Miss Jenner. ‘Is there nothing you can do?’
    Miss Jenner did not answer. The silence in the room was tense. The sound of stertorous breathing from Mrs Doherty seemed unusually loud.
    ThenPriscilla spoke. ‘Is there anything you can do to relieve my mother’s condition, Miss Jenner?’ Her voice was precise, and demanded an answer.
    ‘I could do another cranial exploration,’ she said quietly.
    ‘Then it must be done.’
    ‘No,’ said Jamie, ‘I
won’t
allow it. She has gone through enough already.’
    ‘It
must
be done,’ Priscilla retorted.
    ‘Why? In God’s name, why?’
    ‘Because it
can
be done,’ Priscilla said.
    ‘I do not advise it,’ said Miss Jenner. ‘I cannot be confident that she will survive a second operation.’
    ‘There you are, Priscilla,’ Jamie said, ‘Medical advice is against operation.’
    Priscilla ignored him, and spoke to Miss Jenner.
    ‘Will she survive without operation?’
    ‘It is unlikely. In fact, I must answer no, she will not.’
    ‘When is her demise likely to occur?’
    ‘That is more difficult to predict.’
    ‘Days? Weeks?’
    ‘Oh no, not weeks. Maybe later today, or during the night.’
    Maggie screamed, ‘No, oh no, no,
please
!’
    ‘So the balance in favour of survival is to operate?’
    ‘Yes, it is.’
    ‘Then it must be done.’
    Jamie confronted his elder sister. ‘I don’t agree, and I will not give my consent to operation.’
    ‘Your consent will not be necessary. I will give mine.’
    Maggie jumped up, her tears stopped, her face hopeful.
    ‘Oh Priscilla, you’re wonderful. Can it be done, Miss Jenner? Can you save Mummy?’
    ‘I cannot guarantee it.’
    ‘But you can try, can’t you? And I will look after her when she leaves hospital. I
want
to look after her.’
    Jamie was exasperated. ‘You just want something to fill your empty