Interesting Times

out behind her.
    Then, to Rincewind’s amazement, she looked at Twoflower, screamed, and threw her arms around his neck.
    “Extended Continuation To Filial Affection!” chanted Three Yoked Oxen.
    “‘Close Cover Before Striking!’” said Rincewind. “Er. What exactly is happening?”
    A very small Red soldier tugged at his robe.
    “He is her daddy,” it said.
    “You never said you had children!”
    “I’m sure I did. Often,” said Twoflower, disentangling himself. “Anyway…it is allowed.”
    “You’re married? ”
    “I was, yes. I’m sure I must have said.”
    “We were probably running away from something at the time. So there’s a Mrs. Twoflower, is there?”
    “There was for a while,” said Twoflower, and for a moment an expression almost of anger distorted his preternaturally benign countenance. “Not, alas, any more.”
    Rincewind looked away, because that was better than looking at Twoflower’s face.
    Butterfly had also emerged. She stood just outside the cell door, with her hands clasped in front of her, looking down demurely at her feet.
    Twoflower rushed over to her.
    “Butterfly!”
    Rincewind looked down at the rabbit clutcher.
    “She another daughter, Pearl?”
    “Yeth.”
    The little man came towards Rincewind, dragging the girls.
    “Have you met my daughters?” he said. “This is Rincewind, who—”
    “We have had the pleasure,” said Butterfly, gravely.
    “How did you all get here?” said Rincewind.
    “We fought as hard as we could,” said Butterfly. “But there were simply too many of them.”
    “I hope you didn’t try to grab their weapons,” said Rincewind, as sarcastically as he dared.
    Butterfly glared at him.
    “Sorry,” said Rincewind.
    “Herb says it is the system that is to blame,” said Lotus Blossom.
    “I bet he’s got a better system all worked out.” Rincewind looked at the throng of prisoners. “They usually have. Where is he, by the way?”
    The girls looked around.
    “I don’t see him here,” said Lotus Blossom. “But I think that when the guards attacked us he laid down his life for the cause.”
    “Why?”
    “Because that’s what he said we should do. I am ashamed that I did not. But they seemed to want to capture us, not kill us.”
    “I did not see him,” said Butterfly. She and Rincewind exchanged a glance. “I think perhaps…he was not there.”
    “You mean he had been caught already?” said Lotus Blossom.
    Butterfly looked at Rincewind again. It occurred to him that whereas Lotus Blossom had inherited a Twoflower view of the world, Butterfly must have taken after her mother. She thought more like Rincewind, i.e., the worst of everyone.
    “Perhaps,” she said.
    “Make Considerable Sacrifice For The Common Good,” said Three Yoked Oxen.
    “‘There’s One Born Every Minute,’” said Rincewind, absently.
    Butterfly seemed to get a grip on herself.
    “However,” she said, “we must make the most of this opportunity.”
    Rincewind, who had been heading for the stairs, froze.
    “Exactly what do you mean?” he said.
    “Don’t you see? We are at large in the Forbidden City!”
    “Not me!” said Rincewind. “I’ve never been at large. I’ve always been at hunched.”
    “The enemy brought us in here and now we are free—”
    “Thanks to the Great Wizard,” said Lotus Blossom.
    “—and we must seize the day!”
    She picked up a sword from a stricken guard and waved it dramatically.
    “We must storm the palace, just as Herb suggested!”
    “There’s only thirty of you!” said Rincewind. “You’re not a storm! You’re a shower!”
    “There are hardly any guards within the city itself,” said Butterfly. “If we can overcome those around the Emperor’s apartments—”
    “You’ll be killed!” said Rincewind.
    She turned on him. “Then at least we shall have died for something!”
    “Cleanse The State With The Blood Of Martyrs,” rumbled Three Yoked Oxen.
    Rincewind spun around and waved a finger under Three Yoked Oxen’s nose, which was as high as he could reach.
    “I’ll bloody well thump you if you trot out something like that one more time!” he shouted, and then grimaced at the realization that he had just threatened a man three times heavier than he was.
    “Listen to me, will you?” he said, settling down a little. “I know about people who talk about suffering for the common good. It’s never bloody them! When you hear a man shouting ‘Forward, brave comrades!’ you’ll