Jaded (Rock Star Trilogy)

his fault that the whole school knows. I was happy keeping the whole thing a secret.”
    “Nothing is a secret in this town, Mona. NOTHING . I highly doubt Stephan told the secret, but even if he did, it was only a matter of time before it got out.”
    “I really don't care. Seeing him, it's just a reminder of the whore my mother was. I don't want to hate my mom, but everyday when I pass him in the hallways, I hate her a little more.” Her voice is cold.
    “ You have issues . I really think you should talk to somebody about it, because this is not healthy. Hate is a terrible feeling, especially since you feel it towards your deceased parent... And carrying around this burden for two years has got to be terrible.”
    “I didn't know until six months ago! Stephan was the one who told me. Maybe everybody else knew, but I was blissfully unaware. My father lied about her death. He didn't want me to know what really happened. He didn't want me to hate her like he hates her.”
    I am not sure what I am supposed to say to her, but I know the words out of my mouth are completely wrong. “I'm sorry that he told you, but at least he had the balls to tell you the truth, unlike your father.”
    “You bitch.” She shoves me, and then storms off.
    She's right. I am a bitch. I can't believe I just said that to her. That was so terrible.
     
    3:07 pm
    Just a loner
     
    I feel like shit the rest of the day. I feel so terrible about what I said to Mona, and my heart feels heavy with guilt. I know that I have to apologize to her, but I also know she needs time to cool off first.
    “What is wrong with you? You've been so quiet ever since your talk with Mona.”
    I sigh. “I said something kind of mean to her. I was just defending you, but still, it came out all wrong. I was a complete bitch to her.”
    “What did you say?” he asks.
    “Well, she told me that you were the one to tell her about the affair. And then I responded by telling her at least you had the balls to tell her the truth, unlike her father .” I hang my head just a little as I tell him. “I am such a terrible person.”
    He laughs, and not just a “ ha, ha ”, I mean he is laughing so hard he literally has tears coming out of his eyes.
    “It's not funny .”
    “She played you, Scar. Mona is the biggest bitch I have ever met, and she's a damn good actress too. She knew the whole time.”
    “It didn't seem like she knew,” I say, remembering the tears in her eyes.
    “Like I said, she deserves a fucking Oscar. Not only is she a good liar, but she's a manipulator too.” He shakes his head angrily. “Ever wonder why nobody at school talks to me? Like ever ...” He pauses. “Or at least until the bonfire.”
    Actually, I hadn't, but I don't let him know that. “I always thought you were just a loner.”
    “Nope,” he informs me. “I actually had quite a few friends before the end of school last year.”
    “And here I was feeling sorry for her...” I try to shake it off, but I can't. I decide that I am definitely going to apologize to Mona. Playing me or not, she deserves an apology for what I said to her.
    “Mona has never been a victim a day in her life. Don't feel sorry for her.”
    I'm beginning to think the hate is very two sided, but I don't say anything. From now on, I am going to keep my nose out of it. They will work it out on their own.
    “So do you want to hang out tonight? Ethan's dad installed this killer sound system, and I am in need of an action movie marathon.”
    “Not tonight. Bridgett and I have a follow up appointment...” I shut my mouth suddenly. Crap, what am I supposed to say?
    “Follow up appointment?”
    “We are seeing a therapist,” which is the truth. “You know, the whole being separated for 19 years... It's been a hard adjustment,” I lie. I hate lying, but it isn't my secret to tell, and I feel like I have to protect Bridgett.
    “That's probably a good thing. Maybe we can just hang out tomorrow?”
    “Sure,” I say.

Friday, October 2
    5:15 pm
    More than lust.
     
    The week goes by too fast, and too slow at the same time. I'm so nervous about my day tomorrow, seeing Stacy after nine years. I'm scared that she will hate me... Scared that I will find out that I am the reason she left, which is just crazy I know. I was 10 at the time. It wasn't my fault, but I can't help but feel partly responsible.
    Friday afternoon, Bridgett and I go hang out at Stephan's house. Bridge is hanging out with Ethan, and