Jamie Brodie 02 - Hoarded to Death

lease on the apartment.”
    Liz looked surprised. “I thought you’d already decided to stay with Pete.”
    “Not officially. I mean, of course I’m leaning in that direction, but I haven’t told Kevin to go ahead and get a new apartment.”
    Liz leaned back and crossed her arms, frowning at me. “Have you heard the old saying, ‘The one who has the power in any relationship is the one who cares the least?’”
    I looked up at Liz with a start. "No. What are you talking about?"
    "I'm talking about you. You think you're the one who's taking all the risk, by giving up your apartment, but you're not. Pete's the one taking the risk. You can always get another apartment. You're the one who's free to go if you decide to, just pack up your stuff and leave."
    "I wouldn't do that."
    "Do you think Pete knows that?"
    "Yeah, I think he does." I glared at Liz. "Are you trying to piss me off for some reason?"
    "No. I'm trying to get you to see that you can hurt Pete a lot more than he can hurt you."
    "I don't see where you get that. I'd say we're pretty even in that department."
    "No, you're not. Pete has given you everything he has, he's laid himself open to you. What have you done for him? And sex doesn't count."
    "I can't believe we're having this conversation."
    "And I can't believe you're trying to keep from answering my question."
    I shook my head. "I do lots of things for him."
    "Like what?"
    "I...I do most of the cleaning. I do all the laundry. I live with him, for fuck's sake."
    Liz looked at me unwaveringly. "Have you told him you love him?"
    "Yes! Every day!"
    "Do you tell him spontaneously, or is it just 'Love you too' when he says it first?"
    I tried to remember. "I know I've said it first before."
    "Yeah, but you can't remember when. You can't remember the last time you said, 'Pete, I love you,' for no other reason than you love him." She looked disgusted. "That's just great, Jamie."
    "I'm not..." I was speechless. "I can't believe this."
    "Believe it." She stood up and took her trash to the receptacle, then came back and sat down. "This is about the time in a relationship where you get that look on your face. Like a scared animal, wondering where the traps are." She leaned forward. "There are no traps this time. You're the one with the shotgun this time."
    "Liz. When we broke up before, it was Pete that pulled the trigger."
    "I know that. And it's taken him this long to get you back." Her face softened. "You should see the way he looks at you, when you're not looking. He adores you. He loves you so much it hurts. It hurts me to see him look at you like that."
    I sighed and rubbed my face. "Is there a point to all this?"
    "Yes." She stood up again and gathered her belongings. "This time, you're the one with the power to fuck this up." She leaned forward again and looked straight into my eyes. "Don't fuck it up." She gave me one last look, and left.
    Shit.
    I looked into the distance, kind of pissed and kind of realizing that Liz might have a point. What did it say about me that I couldn't remember the last time I'd told my boyfriend that I loved him? Without being prompted?
    Nothing good, that was for sure.
    If there was a romantic in our relationship, it was Pete. He was the one who left notes in my lunch or stuck to the bathroom mirror. He was the one who whispered in my ear in bed. He was the one who almost always initiated the cuddling, who was the touchy-feely one of the two of us by far.
    Except for that weird little episode last night…
    I groaned inwardly and rubbed my face again. I was a shitty boyfriend.
    I did love Pete. Maybe more than I’d loved anyone else, if I was honest with myself. And I did a pretty lousy job of showing it.
    Well, I could change that. It would take some effort because it didn't come naturally to me to be romantic or cuddly. I'd just have to consciously make the effort until it became second nature.
    Fake it 'til you make it. Except I wouldn't be faking it.
    Okay. I was going to start right now.
    I pulled out my cell phone and clicked on the Messages icon. I typed in, "Hey, you, <3" and sent it to Pete's phone.
    I slid my phone into my pocket. I was slinging my computer bag over my shoulder when I felt my phone vibrate. I pulled it out and clicked on my message.
    "<3 u2. :-)"
    I smirked a little to myself. This romantic shit might be kind of fun.

    The rest of October flew past. We didn’t hear anything from Jennifer, the police, or anyone connected with the TV show for a