Joyland

wayward car back under cover. What else was I thinking? That I had seen a ghost after all. Just not of a person.
    Annie came back. “He wants to see you, but don’t stay long.”
    “Okay.”
    “Third door on the right.”
    I went down the hall, knocked lightly, and let myself in. Once you got past the grab bars, the oxygen tanks in the corner, and the leg braces standing at steely attention beside the bed, it could have been any boys room. There was no baseball glove and no skateboard propped against the wall, but there were posters of Mark Spitz and Miami Dolphins running back Larry Csonka. In the place of honor above the bed, the Beatles were crossing Abbey Road.
    There was a faint smell of liniment. Mike looked very small in the bed, all but lost under a green coverlet. Milo was curled up, nose to tail, beside him, and Mike was stroking his fur absently. It was hard to believe this was the same kid who had raised his hands triumphantly over his head at the apogee of the Carolina Spin. He didn’t look sad, though. He looked almost radiant.
    “Did you see her, Dev? Did you see her when she left?”
    I shook my head, smiling. I had been jealous of Tom, but not of Mike. Never of Mike.
    “I wish my grampa had been there. He would have seen her, and heard what she said when she left.”
    “What did she say?”
    “Thanks. She meant both of us. And she told you to be careful. Are you sure you didn’t hear her? Even a little?”
    I shook my head again. No, not even a little.
    “But you know.” His face was too pale and tired, the face of a boy who was very sick, but his eyes were alive and healthy. “You know, don’t you?”
    “Yes.” Thinking of the Alice band. “Mike, do you know what happened to her?”
    “Someone killed her.” Very low.
    “I don’t suppose she told you . . .”
    But there was no need to finish. He was shaking his head.
    “You need to sleep,” I said.
    “Yeah, I’ll feel better after a nap. I always do.” His eyes closed, then slowly opened again. “The Spin was the best. The hoister. It’s like flying.”
    “Yes,” I said. “It is like that.”
    This time when his eyes closed, they didn’t re-open. I walked to the door as quietly as I could. As I put my hand on the knob, he said, “Be careful, Dev. It’s not white.”
    I looked back. He was sleeping. I’m sure he was. Only Milo was watching me. I left, closing the door softly.

    Annie was in the kitchen. “I’m making coffee, but maybe you’d rather have a beer? I’ve got Blue Ribbon.”
    “Coffee would be fine.”
    “What do you think of the place?”
    I decided to tell the truth. “The furnishings are a little elderly for my taste, but I never went to interior decorating school.”
    “Nor did I,” she said. “Never even finished college.”
    “Join the club.”
    “Ah, but you will. You’ll get over the girl who dumped you, and you’ll go back to school, and you’ll finish, and you’ll march off into a brilliant future.”
    “How do you know about—”
    “The girl? One, you might as well be wearing a sandwich board. Two, Mike knows. He told me. He’s been my brilliant future. Once upon a time I was going to major in anthropology. I was going to win a gold medal at the Olympics. I was going to see strange and fabulous places and be the Margaret Mead of my generation. I was going to write books and do my best to earn back my father’s love. Do you know who he is?”
    “My landlady says he’s a preacher.”
    “Indeed he is. Buddy Ross, the man in the white suit. He also has a great head of white hair. He looks like an older version of the Man from Glad in the TV ads. Mega church; big radio presence; now TV. Offstage, he’s an asshole with a few good points.” She poured two cups of coffee. “But that’s pretty much true of all of us, isn’t it? I think so.”
    “You sound like someone with regrets.” It wasn’t the politest thing to say, but we were beyond that. I hoped so, at least.
    She brought the coffee and sat down opposite me. “Like the song says, I’ve had a few. But Mike’s a great kid, and give my father this—he’s taken care of us financially so I could be with Mike full-time. The way I look at it, checkbook love is better than no love at all. I made a decision today. I think it happened when you were wearing that silly costume and doing that silly dance. While I was watching Mike laugh.”
    “Tell me.”
    “I decided to give my father what he wants, which is to be