Kate Daniels 02 - Magic Burns

drained again. A dull ache flared across my back—must’ve landed harder than I thought. The ache spread to my biceps. Thank you for the squeeze of death, Your Majesty. I slumped against the wall.
    â€œWhy are you hell-bent on their wedding?”
    I rubbed my forehead, trying to wipe away fatigue and this conversation. “You really want to know?”
    â€œYes. What is it, guilt, revenge, love, what?”
    I swallowed. “I live alone.”
    â€œAnd your point is?”
    â€œYou have the Pack. You’re surrounded by people who would fall over themselves for the pleasure of your company. I have no one. My parents are dead, my entire family is gone. I have no friends. Except Jim, and that’s more of a working relationship than anything else. I have no lover. I can’t even have a pet, because I’m not at the house often enough to keep it from starving. When I come crawling home, bleeding and filthy and exhausted, the house is dark and empty. Nobody keeps the porch light on for me. Nobody hugs me and says, ‘Hey, I’m glad you made it. I’m glad you’re okay. I was worried.’ Nobody cares if I live or die. Nobody makes me coffee, nobody holds me before I go to bed, nobody fixes my medicine when I’m sick. I’m by myself.”
    I shrugged, trying to keep my voice nonchalant. “And most of the time, I like being by myself. But when I look into my future, I see no family, no husband, no children. No warmth. I just see myself getting older and more scarred. Fifteen years from now I’ll still drag my beaten, bloody hide to my place and lick my wounds, all alone, in a dark house. I can’t have love and family, but Crest and Myong have a shot at happiness. I don’t want to stand in the way.”
    I glanced at Curran and saw something in his eyes—understanding? sympathy?—I couldn’t tell. It was there for a brief moment and then he pulled his mask back on, and I was greeted with the impenetrable face of an alpha.
    I looked away. I had left a lot out. I had left out the part that explained that being with me meant being in danger, because my blood made me a target. Having sex with me meant sharing some of my magic. Being with a normal person made me selfish, because I couldn’t protect them if I was found. Hell, I couldn’t protect myself if that happened.
    Being with a powerful person made me stupid, because as soon as they figured out what I was, they would either kill me or try to use me to their advantage. I distinctly remembered the first time I realized this. His name was Derin. He was a wizard. I was seventeen and wanting very badly to jump into somebody’s bed. His bed looked pretty good. Years later looking back at it, I had to admit Derin wasn’t all that, but for my first time, well, it could’ve been worse.
    And Greg did what any good guardian would do: he sat down with me and very gently explained to me why I could never see Derin again. A one-night stand in another town was the safest option for me. Hide your blood. Bide your time until you’re strong enough. Trust no one. I had known all of that, I just failed to realize the complete implications of it. My guardian had enlightened me. I hated him so much for it, I had agreed to enter the Order’s Academy just to get away from him.
    The magic splashed us, strong, intoxicating. Curran’s hair shifted and grew another inch.
    I knew exactly what drew me to him: if we fought—really fought—I wasn’t sure I could win. No, scratch that, I was sure I couldn’t win. He’d kill me. Wouldn’t even blink. He scared me, and the more scared I got, the louder my mouth became.
    â€œYour turn,” I told him.
    â€œWhat?”
    â€œYour turn. I told you why I wanted them together. Now you tell me why you want them apart.” Jealousy, pride, love, all good enough reasons for an egomaniac like you. Take your pick.
    He sighed. “She’s weak and he’s a selfish asshole. He’ll use her. She’s making a mistake.”
    I didn’t expect that. “But it’s her mistake to make.”
    â€œI know. I keep waiting for her to recognize she’s making one.”
    I shook my head. “Curran, she begged the ex-girlfriend of her fiancé to arrange her wedding. If she’s willing to humiliate herself in that manner, she’ll do anything for Crest’s sake. She doesn’t seem like a