Killer Calories

feeling a depth of fatigue that had nothing to do with her morning hike through the daisies. “Tammy Lou...“Tammy hated it when she called her that, which was precisely why she did. “Are you telling me that you never, never, ever tell a lie. Not even a little white fib?”
    Tammy lifted her chin a couple of notches. “I live my life in such a way that I don’t do things that I’m ashamed of, things that I would have to lie about to my fellow human beings.”
    Savannah stared at her for a long time, wondering whether to pin a gold medal to her chest or barf on her pink tennis shoes.
    “Well, that’s most commendable,” she said. “And I agree with you, at least in principle. But this is business, and in the course of earning a living, we sometimes have to blacken our souls by uttering a falsehood. So, if you won’t do it because I ask you to as a friend, then as your boss, I’m telling you to. Got it?”
    “Oh, okay.” She seemed enormously relieved. “No problem.”
    Savannah filed that one away for future consideration. Tammy’s sliding scale of moral values was a never-ending source of amazement and amusement for her.
    Tammy headed for the doorway, then turned around abruptly and fixed her with a suspicious eye. “Wait just a minute. This trip into town really is business, isn’t it?” she said. “I mean... you wouldn’t just be sneaking off to get a big, gorpy dessert, or something disgusting like that, are you?”
    “Tammy! I’m shocked.”
    “Bull pucky . You’re going to do it. You’re going to break your diet and forfeit all the good the spa has done for you-That’s so sad, Savannah .”
    “Oh, Tammy, Tammy... Ta-m-m-my. Don’t worry. I promise not to consume a single calorie while I’m away from the Royal Palms Spa.”
    “Cross your heart?”
    “And swear to swallow my bubble gum.”
    Tammy appeared mollified. “Good. See you later this afternoon.”
    After she had left the room and Savannah was getting dressed to go, she didn’t feel the slightest twinge of guilt. The cheap burger place where Dirk would want to eat always microwaved their beef patties. And microwaving food removed every single smidgen of a calorie.
    Hell, everybody knew that!

    Whenever possible, Savannah avoided the San Carmelita Police Station, like some people avoided the old house where they had once lived with a much-beloved, much-despised ex-spouse. The place brought such bittersweet memories the moment she walked through the door.
    Officer Kenny Bates, the day-shift desk clerk definitely fell into the “bitter” category. The term “greasy” referred to Wore than his thinning hair and bad skin. There were eight females on the S.C.P.D., and Bates had made it his life’s ambition to do the Grizzly Bear Hump with every one of them. So far, his score was zero, but that didn’t seem to dampen his enthusiasm.
    “Hey, hey, hey, Sa-van- ahhh !” he exclaimed as she Walked up to the desk. His eyes slid over her with the sexual appeal of a slimy slug. “Are we looking good today, or what?”
    “Not we, Master Bates,” she said coolly. “ I look pretty good. You, on the other hand, are as ugly as a warthog’s backside.”
    He laughed, far too loudly, reminding her of a Georgia mule she had once known. “ Wanna come over to my place tonight?” he said. “We can toss back some brewskies and watch TV. I get X-rated channels now... three of ‘ em .”
    “I’d rather have a mammogram...”
    “I could order a pizza with lotsa meat .”
    “...a barium enema, and a pap smear.”
    “Hey, kinky stuff! We could play doctor, too, if that’s what you’re into.”
    She glowered at him. “Hand me the damned clipboard, Bates, before I yank your tonsils out through your asshole.” He pushed the board across the desk to her. She jotted down her name and the time and shoved it back at him.
    “So, is that a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’?” he called after her as she hurried down the hall to the detectives’ squad room.

    Five minutes later, she was standing in a tiny room, hardly larger than a closet, watching through a one-way mirror as Dirk questioned Josef Orlet .
    Sitting at a table in a straight-backed chair, with Dirk pacing the floor behind him, Orlet looked a lot less happy than Savannah had ever seen him. But then, she couldn't really blame him for his rotten mood. Being interrogated by Dirk Coulter wasn’t exactly the bright spot in anyone’s day-“You keep giving me answers like that,” Dirk